Trendy TV Chefs

ALAN TYLER
11th August 2010, 11:40
Why is that all the TV Chefs never wear anything on their heads and alot place oven/t towels etc under their arm pits, whilst cooking? This was always a no no in my catering days!! In these days of Health and Safety the celebrity chefs appear to immune to such rules.

sparkie2182
11th August 2010, 11:42
They also seem to be immune from cooking food which can actually be eaten.

gorach
11th August 2010, 12:12
If you notice a lot of them dont wear aprons either , which are worn to protect the food.

Thats another Story
11th August 2010, 16:57
come along way since fanny and johnny!!!!!! philip harpins beard!!!!(Jester)

Andy Lavies
11th August 2010, 18:05
And the judges in Masterchef get such huge quantities into each mouthful. Must be really hungry!
Andy

Burned Toast
11th August 2010, 19:54
And the judges in Masterchef get such huge quantities into each mouthful. Must be really hungry!
Andy

Especially the one named John, Bigger Gob than the tyne Tunnel:sweat:

Ray

Burned Toast
11th August 2010, 20:00
Why is that all the TV Chefs never wear anything on their heads and alot place oven/t towels etc under their arm pits, whilst cooking? This was always a no no in my catering days!! In these days of Health and Safety the celebrity chefs appear to immune to such rules.

Alan

You will find most top hotels restaurants the chefs do not wear hats,

Most offshore firms like the chefs/cooks wear head cover, I myself think head cover unnecessary as long as you dont scatch your head during service(Hippy)

Ray = waiting for the replies\)

sparkie2182
11th August 2010, 22:16
The mention of "Fanny and Johnny" brought back the immortal line from
Michael Barratt in U.K. T.V. "Nationwide" programme back in the '70's.

Fanny Craddock had just finished her piece to camera, making doughnuts.
The producer switched the camera unexpectedly to Barratt who was caught a little by surprise and said.......

"Well viewers, I hope all your doughnuts turn-out like fannies".

:)

Sister Eleff
11th August 2010, 22:52
Alan

You will find most top hotels restaurants the chefs do not wear hats,

Most offshore firms like the chefs/cooks wear head cover, I myself think head cover unnecessary as long as you dont scatch your head during service(Hippy)

Rat = waiting for the replies\)

Please let me gently correct you young man! There is such a thing as 'fall out', it happens with us all including the mighty Gordon Ramsey's of this world. Our skin sheds all the time, you don't need to scratch ot touch the area for this to occur. The worst areas for this are the head, the arm pits and the perineal (crutch!) areas. Hence the reason for sleeves on shirts (no sleevless shirts), trousers and hair coverings as should be worn for food preparation and operating theatres.

sparkie2182
11th August 2010, 22:55
"and the perineal (crutch!) areas"

Specially when making doughnuts.

:)

Anthony Atkinson
12th August 2010, 00:18
Perineal. Now I wonder if I asked some of the hairy cooks I have sailed with, if they knew about their Perineal bits. Me thinks I would have ended up in the stock pot. Anthony Atkinson

Don Matheson
12th August 2010, 00:42
A question, has anyone ever seen Ainsley Harriot actually cook anything?

Enjoyed Rick Stein and the wonderful wine drinking chef but very few of the rest seem to be worth their salt

Don

jg grant
12th August 2010, 00:57
You're correct Alan. Towels over the shoulder or underarm is an absolute nono.The TV is chokka with assorted plonkers and poseurs, some with a knife action that would make you cringe. I personally like Rick Stein, Nick Nairn, Gordon Ramsay and Jamie Oliver. The last two went through that hackneyed old format of troubleshooting round restaurants, the incumbent chef being submitted to ritual humiliation. Hats off to Jamie for , sorting out school dinners, if he did that is. Id love to try Nigella's puddings and I hear the latest RSC farce has two cooks as a team using only one hand each . It's crossover entertainment I suppose. Regards Ronnie.
Forgot to mention Gordons' new cook book. Take two eggs and eff off!

Anthony Atkinson
12th August 2010, 01:05
I do agree with you Mr Matheson. Channel 4 in the afternoons, seems to be wall to wall cooking. They might as well switch the bloody channel off for the afternoon, or re-run the Sound of Music. Still I suppose it keeps those awfully important people, I think there called schedulars, in a very well paying job. I'm just a moaner. Anthony Atkinson

Don Matheson
12th August 2010, 01:19
Antony I dont think anyone can be called a moaner on SN or we would all be one, I do however think you would be if you had to watch the sound of music every afternoon as you suggest.
Another couple of names of "good chefs" have popped up thanks to JG, Nick Nairn and Jamie Oliver. Dont think to much of Oliver, but at least he is entertaining and with luck his schools programme will give us some thin kids again.

Don

Pat McCardle
12th August 2010, 08:13
Fanny making Puff pastry. "Here's the pastry, ahh! Here comes Johnny" Care of Benny Hill.

I'll exit left?

Chris Isaac
12th August 2010, 08:57
I do agree with you Mr Matheson. Channel 4 in the afternoons, seems to be wall to wall cooking. They might as well switch the bloody channel off for the afternoon, or re-run the Sound of Music. Still I suppose it keeps those awfully important people, I think there called schedulars, in a very well paying job. I'm just a moaner. Anthony Atkinson

They had better not turn off Ch 4.
The lovely Rachel Riley would be sorely missed!
She will catch her death of cold in those skimpy dresses!

Anthony Atkinson
12th August 2010, 19:51
Oh my, I am sorry I suggested that channel 4 should be switched off. I should have said that channel with all the phoney cooks on it. Why, only the other day, we watchers of the said channel, actually witnessed cooked food being passed through the kitchen window, from the nearby situated curry joint, and then served as if the cook had done it. Do you know, I think she actually won 1000 for her effort. Now that is taking the mick big time. It was so funny. Anthony

Thats another Story
12th August 2010, 19:59
i like the {here's one i prepared earlier} my ar.e(Hippy)

cueball44
12th August 2010, 21:16
The Hairy Bikers can shake a pan.'cueball44'

Pat Kennedy
12th August 2010, 21:55
A question, has anyone ever seen Ainsley Harriot actually cook anything?

Enjoyed Rick Stein and the wonderful wine drinking chef but very few of the rest seem to be worth their salt

Don
Don.
I saw a programme a year or two ago called 'Before they were Famous'
There, would you believe, was Ainsley Harriott, not a cook, just some wannabee, trying hard to get noticed, doing some cheapo advert.
The man will never be a cook as long as he has hole in his a***
Regards,
Pat (Thumb)

John Dryden
12th August 2010, 22:27
The Galloping Gourmet from the 60's was crackers!
Delia Smith is down to earth,but for me,as already mentioned it has to be Nigella's puppies,er sorry puddings,

Thats another Story
12th August 2010, 22:35
i always thought the oxo lady was so sexy {Linda bellingham} she could cook for me anytime.[=P]

Billieboy
13th August 2010, 06:57
The Galloping Gourmet from the 60's was crackers!

My favourite restaurant in Naples is, "Da Ciro Ste. Brigitta", it's a pizza joint with a forty covert restaurant upstairs. I've used it since 1972. One weekend a couple of years ago, a repeat of the Galloping Gourmet was shown on a Saturday in the "Best Pizza Joint in the World", (according to an Italy wide Survey!), it even had the old owner, (long dead now), and my, "personal", waiter.

spongebob
13th August 2010, 07:46
Graham Kerr, the galloping Gourmet, was one time a catering adviser to the British Army and in 1958 he emigrated to New Zealand to take up the post of catering adviser to the RNZAF with a result that air base food became second to none and the Air Force's food budget probably blew out .
He soon teamed up with the fledgling TVNZ to broadcast a programme called "Entertaining With Kerr" and all of we newly wed men in the early sixties got the benefit of his ideas and recipes that were passed on to our wives via his then radical cooking shows.
I remember him roasting a leg of lamb covered in tinned apricot halves held on with tooth picks.
The average Kiwi guy had his manhood questioned by being asked to eat meat and sweet but most of us only needed one taste to change our ways and accept that mum's old methods could be surpassed.
He soon returned to the UK and eventually became a world wide TV cooking star.
I recall him being called the Billy Graham of the Kitchen

Bob

oldsalt1
14th August 2010, 07:30
Nick Nairn actually stated off as a navigating cadet with Scottish Ship Managment and then third mate. Several attempts to get him to attend the annual reunion held in December have failed.

degsy
14th August 2010, 10:00
The trouble with modern cooking there never seems to be a lot on the plate. Nouveu Cuisine, my butt, a man could starve. Lets get back to the Craddocks style of cooking, when Fanny's satisfied a man

Thats another Story
14th August 2010, 10:33
The trouble with modern cooking there never seems to be a lot on the plate. Nouveu Cuisine, my butt, a man could starve. Lets get back to the Craddocks style of cooking, when Fanny's satisfied a man degsy the thought of fanny craddock satisfying!!!!!i think i would sooner go hungry no wonder johnny was always p.ssed(Jester)

jim.child
14th August 2010, 11:14
Why is that all the TV Chefs never wear anything on their heads and alot place oven/t towels etc under their arm pits, whilst cooking? This was always a no no in my catering days!! In these days of Health and Safety the celebrity chefs appear to immune to such rules.

There was one on saturday kitchen cooking in a suit with a hanky in his top pocket.

kevjacko
14th August 2010, 14:16
Hats off to Rick Stein,Jamie Oliver, and the hairy bikers. The rest are much of a muchness and I can't see the point in Ramsey's swearing.

Don Matheson
14th August 2010, 14:47
Jim child, Wife came down to a ship and was amazed to find our cook doing saturday evening meal in his suit. Naturally she asked and he replied "just got to finish here and I am away ashore, night watchman will clean up for me."
He was not a "celebrity" but would have wiped the floor with most of those seen on TV. He also got a LLoyds Medal for attempting to save one of our crew in the water. Much better than any TV chef would ever be!

Don

Thats another Story
14th August 2010, 16:01
I think the way ramsey runs his galley you should be able to trust his food.

ketley22
14th August 2010, 16:41
Have modern chefs never heard of tongs?, They always seen to be using their fingers, you dont know what they have been scratching prior to the show

Thats another Story
14th August 2010, 16:45
could be their piraneal[=P](Jester)

Don Matheson
14th August 2010, 16:53
John wasnt it Gordon Ramsey who was subcontracting some of the catering at one of his restaurants? Apparently some of the food dinners were requesting was arriving via transit to the back door.
I know he wasnt highly thought of in Glasgow where his restaurant closed down as people said the food wasnt very good.

Don

Thats another Story
14th August 2010, 17:06
don it just be his TV image that makes you think he knows what he is doing he has made a few bob at it though......john

alan ward
14th October 2011, 14:42
A question, has anyone ever seen Ainsley Harriot actually cook anything?

Enjoyed Rick Stein and the wonderful wine drinking chef but very few of the rest seem to be worth their salt

Don

Spent the weekend once staying Rick Steins place in Padstow,Seafood in Warm Olive Oil amongst the seashore wreckage I was served was an empty crab shell!I searched in vain for the brown meat or any crab meat not a f****g scrap.600 for two nights.Best bit was discovering the London Inn.

sparkie2182
14th October 2011, 15:17
One of Kerr's progs was aired last year.

Embarrassing to watch.

alan ward
15th October 2011, 14:59
Particularly the close ups of his face as he sampled the delights of Liver Casserole with a hint of cheese or King Prawns on jam with Anita Roddick pumicestone ankle rub.His expression of delight looked like a steam queen with a big donkey greaser jammed up her,horrible,horrible man

Alex Salmond
15th October 2011, 21:13
(MAD)Money for old rope for some of these people just read an article in the Herald supplement about Jamie Oliver being worth $ 213 million!! am I missing something here? has he discovered a cure for cancer?,solved the riddle of faster than light travel? no he just babbles a load of sh#$5 in front of all these screaming swooning females ,chucks a few things in a pan ,babbles more sh#$% and Kaching more moolah in the bank ,but lets be honest here any man that calls his kids,Poppy Honey,Petal Blossom,Daisy Boo and the poor wee guy Buddy Bear has got to be Sus !Am I jealous ? bloody oath I can babble Sh#$% with the best of them ,and ask me about school dinners i survived enough of them at school....(EEK)

alan ward
17th October 2011, 10:54
(MAD)Money for old rope for some of these people just read an article in the Herald supplement about Jamie Oliver being worth $ 213 million!! am I missing something here? has he discovered a cure for cancer?,solved the riddle of faster than light travel? no he just babbles a load of sh#$5 in front of all these screaming swooning females ,chucks a few things in a pan ,babbles more sh#$% and Kaching more moolah in the bank ,but lets be honest here any man that calls his kids,Poppy Honey,Petal Blossom,Daisy Boo and the poor wee guy Buddy Bear has got to be Sus !Am I jealous ? bloody oath I can babble Sh#$% with the best of them ,and ask me about school dinners i survived enough of them at school....(EEK)

Get off the fence Alex and say what you mean man.

jg grant
18th January 2012, 20:35
Just got an email from my daughter featuring two fifty one year old females. One was an advocate of vegetarianism, simple living,half assed krishna type philosophy. She looked like something the cat dragged in after being dragged backwards through a hedge.The other one was NIGELLA! She eats meat, sugar,cream, butter and desserts and looks just great. Would post it if I knew how. Ronnie

spongebob
18th January 2012, 21:00
Ronnie, your taste is obviously not only in your mouth but also discerning of comely women!

Bob

Pat McCardle
18th January 2012, 21:21
Nigella does a lovely Plump Breast au naturel!

jg grant
18th January 2012, 21:21
Just got an email from my daughter featuring two fifty one year old females. One was an advocate of vegetarianism, simple living,half assed krishna type philosophy. She looked like something the cat dragged in after being dragged backwards through a hedge.The other one was NIGELLA! She eats meat, sugar,cream, butter and desserts and looks just great. Would post it if I knew how. Ronnie

spongebob
18th January 2012, 21:44
She must excite you Ronnie, you have posted twice!

Bob

cueball44
18th January 2012, 22:03
Just got an email from my daughter featuring two fifty one year old females. One was an advocate of vegetarianism, simple living,half assed krishna type philosophy. She looked like something the cat dragged in after being dragged backwards through a hedge.The other one was NIGELLA! She eats meat, sugar,cream, butter and desserts and looks just great. Would post it if I knew how. RonnieA while back i cut all the stuff that NIGELLA eats out, now i am beginning to look and feel as though i have been dragged in by a cat after being dragged through a hedge backwards!, SO tomorrow i am off to the butchers and the cake shop.(Night)

barrinoz
19th January 2012, 00:35
Just got an email from my daughter featuring two fifty one year old females. One was an advocate of vegetarianism, simple living,half assed krishna type philosophy. She looked like something the cat dragged in after being dragged backwards through a hedge.The other one was NIGELLA! She eats meat, sugar,cream, butter and desserts and looks just great. Would post it if I knew how. Ronnie

Just in case anyone missed it! (Jester)
barrinoz.

John Dryden
19th January 2012, 00:44
Which begs the question:does butter melt in the mouth?

jg grant
19th January 2012, 05:09
I thought I had Bob but with NIGELLA I always think in pairs. Ronnie

alan ward
2nd February 2012, 14:24
Please let me gently correct you young man! There is such a thing as 'fall out', it happens with us all including the mighty Gordon Ramsey's of this world. Our skin sheds all the time, you don't need to scratch ot touch the area for this to occur. The worst areas for this are the head, the arm pits and the perineal (crutch!) areas. Hence the reason for sleeves on shirts (no sleevless shirts), trousers and hair coverings as should be worn for food preparation and operating theatres.

Called into a Costa near Trafalgar Square on monday and watched a Barrista(!!!)called Toufiq scatching his d++k,through his trousers thankfully,he actually held the thing in his hand as he eased into it a more comfortable position afterwards.No I didn`t eat anything.

alan ward
2nd February 2012, 14:27
And the judges in Masterchef get such huge quantities into each mouthful. Must be really hungry!
Andy

I would imagine more than hungry,I know I would have to be in order eat some the s+++e they turn out.they wouldn`t last 30 seconds in a professional kitchen.Today Greg I`m cooking Blackpudding with jam,served in a flip-flop garnished with aloe vera shampoo

Pat McCardle
2nd February 2012, 16:57
Was that Kiwi TV presenter Selwyn Toogood also a TV cook? I'm sure I seen him doing something of the catering thing one time when I was bad with the booze & doing something very rare on the Kiwi coast....Watching TV.

Burned Toast
2nd February 2012, 17:37
Was that Kiwi TV presenter Selwyn Toogood also a TV cook? I'm sure I seen him doing something of the catering thing one time when I was bad with the booze & doing something very rare on the Kiwi coast....Watching TV.

Now Pat I always thought that you worked on the kiwi coast. Not drinking and other stuff[=P]:sweat::sweat:

Pat McCardle
2nd February 2012, 19:33
Now Pat I always thought that you worked on the kiwi coast. Not drinking and other stuff[=P]:sweat::sweat:

I got a half day.......Once![=P]

jg grant
2nd February 2012, 21:01
I would imagine more than hungry,I know I would have to be in order eat some the s+++e they turn out.they wouldn`t last 30 seconds in a professional kitchen.Today Greg I`m cooking Blackpudding with jam,served in a flip-flop garnished with aloe vera shampoo

On a bed of wilted chefs surely? Ronnie

Jocko
3rd February 2012, 11:07
Gordon Ramsay is just a foul mouthed a**ehole. If he worked alongside real men he would get clobbered for his attitude.
As for you poor pathetic dudes who sit in and watch TV in the afternoon, give yourself a shake and get outside and get some exercise. About 90% of TV programs are for the mentally deficient.

trotterdotpom
3rd February 2012, 11:37
"Gordon Ramsay is just a foul mouthed a**ehole." That's true.

John T

trotterdotpom
3rd February 2012, 11:42
Nick Nairn is one of the trendy tv chefs and he was a 2nd Mate with Scottish Ship Management. How come he never does Beef a la Mode on the telly? Maybe he lost his carrot gun licence.

John T

Varley
5th February 2012, 10:33
Gordon Ramsay is just a foul mouthed a**ehole. If he worked alongside real men he would get clobbered for his attitude.
As for you poor pathetic dudes who sit in and watch TV in the afternoon, give yourself a shake and get outside and get some exercise. About 90% of TV programs are for the mentally deficient.

You can't accuse me of watching daytime telly - I don't get up that early!

Jocko
5th February 2012, 11:19
I`ve been told that a Tbone steak in Jamie Oliver`s restaurant cost 50.!!!!!
50 for one piece of meat, some chips and mushrooms? Who are these people who can afford to dine like that?

OLD STRAWBERRY
5th February 2012, 11:25
I have never been a fan of all the cooking programmes or the house selling prorammes either come to that, that flood the TV these days but Raymond Blanc is brilliant I do enjoy watching Him. He turns out lovely food and the Desserts as well.

Oz.
5th February 2012, 12:49
I have much better things to do in life than watch people cooking stuff I dont want to eat and couldnt afford to eat if I did want to. Wife was in UK recently and was about to be taken to Rick Stiens place in Padstowe (?). One look at the prices and she and 3 others quickly left for more sensiby priced food. Fish n Chips on the kitchen table at home. They saved a fortune! I'm still trying to master the curry we had every day with Mobil all those years ago.

David Wilcockson
6th February 2012, 15:28
Oz
Or some other dubious servings on an un-named vessel in another lifetime. Hope you are keeping well.
Cheers,
David

Burned Toast
6th February 2012, 15:49
I`ve been told that a Tbone steak in Jamie Oliver`s restaurant cost 50.!!!!!
50 for one piece of meat, some chips and mushrooms? Who are these people who can afford to dine like that?

Dinna firgit the Onion Rings man(Pint)(Pint)(Wave)

Ray

Alistair Macnab
6th February 2012, 17:18
Gentlemen.....
Before creating any more indigestion in your digestive tracts, let me assure you that Gordon Ramsay is a most charming man who has the interests of promoting good cooking uppermost in his mind and actions. If you look carefully, his dishes are always simple and unfussy and although his students are treated with exceptional harshness, remember your own best 'learning on the job' that was conducted by a Bosun, Chief Cook or Mate who almost skinned you alive until you were proficient! And did it with a minimum number of words, many of which were of an Anglo-Saxon derivation! Simple words are aften the most effective!

Must declare my interest in this discussion: One of my sons is Superintending Producer of Gordon's "Kitchen Nightmares" in the USA, and his wife is the lady who blips out all the f-words (his and the contestants') in "Hell's Kitchen". So you see, I'm not entirely impartial!

alan ward
8th February 2012, 15:22
Alastair,that sounds like one of those`Worst Jobs in the World`spoofs,the lady who bleeps out the f-word for Gordon Ramsay.Think of the years in college and the salary she is on for that onerous task,Jesus wept.

Alistair Macnab
8th February 2012, 15:59
Alan...

My daughter-in-law also merges the colour and soundtrack variations of the original multi-camera clips to create the uniformity that you see and hear in the finished programme, removes or obscures visible on-screen signs of all non-permitted copyright material and generally prepares the final print for the broadcaster as safe as possible from any risk of prosecution in any jurisdiction. Since the programme is broadcast in many countries, all under different laws, she has a big task that, yes, has required many years at college and, yes, garners a spectacular salary!
I thought you would appreciate the whole story!

Admittedly not much connection with peeling an endless mountain of spuds outside the galley day after day!

Satanic Mechanic
8th February 2012, 16:24
Gentlemen.....
Before creating any more indigestion in your digestive tracts, let me assure you that Gordon Ramsay is a most charming man who has the interests of promoting good cooking uppermost in his mind and actions. If you look carefully, his dishes are always simple and unfussy and although his students are treated with exceptional harshness, remember your own best 'learning on the job' that was conducted by a Bosun, Chief Cook or Mate who almost skinned you alive until you were proficient! And did it with a minimum number of words, many of which were of an Anglo-Saxon derivation! Simple words are aften the most effective!

Must declare my interest in this discussion: One of my sons is Superintending Producer of Gordon's "Kitchen Nightmares" in the USA, and his wife is the lady who blips out all the f-words (his and the contestants') in "Hell's Kitchen". So you see, I'm not entirely impartial!

Let's be absolutely honest here Alistair - you hardly need Gordon in Chez Macnab

For those wondering on that comment - I had an absolutely splendiferous meal at said abode last year and I am an incurable sycophant when it comes to good food ( and company/ wine/whisky)

Andy Lavies
8th February 2012, 17:25
At the farmers market in our town before Christmas farm steak was priced at 43 per Kg. The posh chefs pour scorn on supermarket meat but I know where I have to buy.
Andy

Burned Toast
9th February 2012, 10:26
I often wonder if these celebrity chefs could manage shipboard cooking, when the ship was running short of provisions, and had been topping up at all rubbish ports you used to visit. (Duckboard Stew)(Pint)(Pint)


Ray

alan ward
10th February 2012, 12:34
I often wonder if these celebrity chefs could manage shipboard cooking, when the ship was running short of provisions, and had been topping up at all rubbish ports you used to visit. (Duckboard Stew)(Pint)(Pint)


Ray

I once did a 3month store on the West Coast and in one of those`Doh!`moments made a typo and didn`t order bread flour.We called in at Biak in PNG and whilst wandering round the local market found sacks of USA strong flour at less than we`d paid in Ca.So bought it,thank you God.

Burned Toast
10th February 2012, 15:19
I once did a 3month store on the West Coast and in one of those`Doh!`moments made a typo and didn`t order bread flour.We called in at Biak in PNG and whilst wandering round the local market found sacks of USA strong flour at less than we`d paid in Ca.So bought it,thank you God.

Always tried to keep up to six months strong flour onboard, bit of a pain if you ran out, with todays crews being mainly rice eaters that what you have to keep well stocked up on. Made quite a few cock ups or typing errors over the years but nothing that you cannot laugh about in the bar.

Ray(Pint) or (Pint)

alan ward
10th February 2012, 16:00
Alastair,I was pulling your leg,I appreciate that wasn`t her only duty.
Burned toast,you should have seen some of my menus typed in port and on the ale.

Varley
10th February 2012, 17:17
I once did a 3month store on the West Coast and in one of those`Doh!`moments made a typo and didn`t order bread flour.We called in at Biak in PNG and whilst wandering round the local market found sacks of USA strong flour at less than we`d paid in Ca.So bought it,thank you God.

I would have thought NOT one of those 'dough' moments!

sparkie2182
10th February 2012, 17:27
The only T.V. cook i could relate to was..............

MARINEJOCKY
10th February 2012, 17:37
I believe that one did a show on a fishing boat out of Crinan many years ago and it was hiliarous in that he was so drunk and his crew all got very sea sick, he was throwing anything into a big old dirty pot to make a fish soup !

sparkie2182
10th February 2012, 18:09
Yep..........Easily relate to that guy.

:)

enzoneo
10th February 2012, 20:18
I've just read this thread from the beginning and had a right good laugh, you guys crack me up. Thanks and keep going.

alan ward
11th February 2012, 09:17
Varley,oh dear,dear,dear!

alan ward
11th February 2012, 09:21
Always tried to keep up to six months strong flour onboard, bit of a pain if you ran out, with todays crews being mainly rice eaters that what you have to keep well stocked up on. Made quite a few cock ups or typing errors over the years but nothing that you cannot laugh about in the bar.

Ray(Pint) or (Pint)

That reminds me of doing a cargo report on the `Owerri`I added an extra nought to the cargo of sawn timber and the company got a bill for thousands.Of course I got a bollocking,but not half as much as when i pointed out that my boss who presented it to the OM who signed hadn`t noticed either.Should have kept my mouth shut,again!

kevjacko
11th February 2012, 10:05
I saw a program a couple of weeks ago called '2 hungry sailors' about this father and son sailing the Br Isles and stopping off at local ports to gorge themselves on the local delicacies. Then I looked again and thought 'I recognise him' and I'm pretty sure he was in an army team on Scrap Heap Challenge a few years back.
So now it seems (if I'm correct and it is him) you don't even have to be a friggin cook to be a celebrity chef, in fact in the sons case you only need to have a dad who's been on a fairly minor TV show once or twice. Jeeez no disrepect to any of these folk trying to eck out a living in the world of TV but when's my turn? I am actually qualified!!!!!!! (well sort of)

trotterdotpom
11th February 2012, 17:59
Gordon "F for Fibber" Ramsay told a few porkies about playing for Rangers.

I'd like to see one of the victims of his grandstanding whack him round the ear with a frying pan.

John T

Donald McGhee
11th February 2012, 20:55
I wait with interest the follow on comments to the "celebrity" (mostly a pack of egotistical pratts) chef/cooking programmes. I mean the overloaded and overdone Property/real estate programmes, where everyone is trying to escape to the country, escape to some other persons country, generally in the sun, by the sea or in Greece, or even if it's raining!

Coupled with that is the ever increasing range of how to balls up DIY projects, start them up, get someone to help you recover from the disaster or teach you how, turn drab houses into palaces or show just how loopy some of the so called designers really are!

What ever happened to TV as we knew it? Or maybe we never knew it, maybe I'm just getting to be a grumpier old man!

jg grant
12th February 2012, 04:53
Hi Donald from north shore jafaland. There's still a few gems on TV in among the garbage. I'm thinking of Coast and Round Britains islands or Marcus Lush here with North and recently we've had frozen planet. Awesome photography. When TV can be good it is very good but JC it can sink into imbecility. (Is that a word?) Regards Ronnie. Off topice, sorry.

kevjacko
12th February 2012, 10:22
I wait with interest the follow on comments to the "celebrity" (mostly a pack of egotistical pratts) chef/cooking programmes. I mean the overloaded and overdone Property/real estate programmes, where everyone is trying to escape to the country, escape to some other persons country, generally in the sun, by the sea or in Greece, or even if it's raining!

Coupled with that is the ever increasing range of how to balls up DIY projects, start them up, get someone to help you recover from the disaster or teach you how, turn drab houses into palaces or show just how loopy some of the so called designers really are!

What ever happened to TV as we knew it? Or maybe we never knew it, maybe I'm just getting to be a grumpier old man!

And it always makes me laugh they have some washed up ex supermodel going into some poor Jo Soap DIY shop fluttering her eyelashes scrounging new bathrooms, kitchens, furniture etc that they can barely afford to give away because theyr'e only a small outfit. Why can't they go into one of the bigger chains like B&Q who can afford to give stuff away for nowt. Then they do a vomit inducing tour of the property that makes you cringe with it's slimy, smarmy, lay it on thick presenting.

Reality TV is TV at it's worse the license payers are being taken for mugs, the TV companies are running out of ideas for decent programs (the likes of Frozen Planet aside) and they've turned the paying customers ie the license payers, into the product. Clever eh?(Cloud)

Mick Spear
19th December 2012, 06:53
Particularly the close ups of his face as he sampled the delights of Liver Casserole with a hint of cheese or King Prawns on jam with Anita Roddick pumicestone ankle rub.His expression of delight looked like a steam queen with a big donkey greaser jammed up her,horrible,horrible man

Nice one Alan. See you still have your MN sense of humour(Jester)
Mick S

ALAN TYLER
19th December 2012, 12:10
I see Nigella Lawson is being berated for producing unhealthy dishes now!! She could cook my goose anytime!!

alan ward
20th December 2012, 19:30
Mick.it`s what keeps me sane,a sense of the ridiculous,running a pub is just like being at sea different people all the time some great,some bad and of course I`m still working Christmas!

nav
20th December 2012, 20:36
I see Nigella Lawson is being berated for producing unhealthy dishes now!! She could cook my goose anytime!!

?????

We could have used her bahooky as an aircraft carrier and saved a few billion for the cost of a Mae West!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nav
20th December 2012, 20:42
The only T.V. cook i could relate to was..............

I remember he came offshore where to his absolute horror there was no alcohohcocohoohhol. He became whiter and whiter until transparent
which was only remedied onshore at a pub where three bottles of red wine filled him up from his toes until his cheeks went red and his pate started to shine. Happy days and what a man!

Masterchef? In your dreams, Floyd was the man!