Changing Mouse Balls

Richard Green
15th June 2006, 22:02
Memo from my Equipment Supplier to it's maintenance Staff which I thought important to pass on

Re: Replacement of Mouse Balls.

If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units).
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method.
Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.
Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.

Peter4447
15th June 2006, 22:43
Come on Richard surely this is a wind up! (Hippy)

benjidog
15th June 2006, 22:57
Wind up Peter? You must be thinking of clockwork mice! (*))

There are new EU regulations coming out that will require all technicians to complete ISO9001 accreditation before they will be able to carry out mouse ball transplantation with a penalty not exceeding Ä100.

Would I lie to you? (Is the Pope a Catholic?).

Regards,

Brian

Santos
15th June 2006, 23:29
Well my mouses's ball is not well, it has become uneven, and believe me uneven balls can cause severe operating problems.

A sliight list to starboard can be accentuated by an uneven ball and can become a severe list to starboard, which could result in a capsize.

To avoid this, it is best to have your balls seen too and evened up otherwise a severe health and safety issue becomes apparant. No intercosternentals can be achieved. BELIVE ME, ITS TRUE.

Chris (Smoke)

John Rogers
15th June 2006, 23:39
I have no list to port or starboard as I have no balls just a dark red glow. Its Optical.!! (Thumb)
John

Phill
16th June 2006, 00:01
Is my mouse alright, as itís only got one Ball?

Phill

pete
16th June 2006, 00:41
Phill I agree that mice generally speaking have two spherical objects However electronic Mice have got away with one. But further one must remember that this Ball is multi functional and is capable of going 'round & 'round, up & down, and side to side. Further I have exchanged my personal mouse to a Lighter version which gathers little or no Dust/Hair and is easier to keep clean..............pete

Chief Engineer's Daughter
16th June 2006, 03:53
I regularly clean my mouse's ball! Got to keep it clean from dirt and dust. Whats more, I do the ones at work too!

dom
16th June 2006, 05:02
mine is an older model, it has four castor wheels.

Pompeyfan
16th June 2006, 09:22
My new mouse has no ball at all. David

dom
16th June 2006, 09:36
obviously it only applys to the english part of the u.k,north of the boarder is a different kettle of fish they would be looking at changing mooose balls

Tmac1720
16th June 2006, 15:21
I call my mouse Hitler 'cause he only has one ball (*)) I used to have one called Mousalinie (Mouse a lini) geddit?? but it didn't have any balls at all.

Richard Green
16th June 2006, 15:50
Yes Gents,

A quick wind up. However, the next time you stop to pick fluff off your ball, remember that you may need to check your mouse too!...

william dillon
16th June 2006, 21:25
Yes Gents,

A quick wind up. However, the next time you stop to pick fluff off your ball, remember that you may need to check your mouse too!...
:@ I've got a femail mouse, where does this leave me/her ???????? (EEK) (EEK)
P.S.
Her name is Minnie !! (Thumb)

Jeff Egan
17th June 2006, 12:52
I'm with pompeyfan on this one I've got no balls either! just a little red light.

Chief Engineer's Daughter
17th June 2006, 15:17
Have to share this with you.

We have recently being doing some training on new equipment at work. The training kit is made up of lap tops and "ball-less" mice.
A female collegue, who isn't blonde but might as well be, declared: "Oh look at this mouse! It lites up when you pick it up! I've just bought one of these for myself. It's ever so pretty." Oh dear.

wully farquhar
17th June 2006, 15:54
There would be less mooses if they were all ball--less mooses C.E.D (*)) (Thumb)

billyboy
18th June 2006, 13:30
Mines ballless too, got red and blue lights on it. but please dont tell the lads on virtual or i will never live it down.

dom
18th June 2006, 13:55
Have to share this with you.

We have recently being doing some training on new equipment at work. The training kit is made up of lap tops and "ball-less" mice.
A female collegue, who isn't blonde but might as well be, declared: "Oh look at this mouse! It lites up when you pick it up! I've just bought one of these for myself. It's ever so pretty." Oh dear.
fetch her with you to the mv virtual,

newda898
18th June 2006, 17:34
So we now have a case of Castrated Mice. Now there's a good term for the packaging!

Richard Green
19th June 2006, 17:29
Most mice over here have balls that glow in the dark. It's to do with the radio active cloud that came over from Chernobyl....