Ships Nostalgia banner

Captains Inspections

53K views 133 replies 84 participants last post by  stillwaters 
#1 ·
Usually these took place once a week, I remember the ritual of cleaning the fridges the night before and getting a bottle of rum, not forgetting overtime. Does anyone have any memories of these inspections, I remember a certain Captain (can,t remember his name) in Houlders who insisted the toilet rolls hung outwards!!!
 
#11 ·
alot of big words being used on this thread that I do not understand but my young American wife has the old man and Chief Steward on my first ship with Houlders to thank for my obsession of having all toilet paper rolls facing out in our five bathrooms.

As for using the News of the World for that purpose, you have it wrong, the "Times" was good for that and the News was used to pass the time especially when you were young and the gossip stories were pretty graphic.

In my yacht inspections in my present work I get some funny looks when checking the AC vent outlets. I think with Houlders it was a saturday morning inspection.
 
#12 ·
The weekly sanitary inspections on US flag vessels I sailed on was promptly indicated in the Bridge Log and Official Logs. Most of the ships the inspections had the Captain, Chief Mate, Chief Engineer, First Assistant Engineer, Chief Steward, Bosun, and Engine Delegate. The parade would visit all of the public spaces and cabins noting all the defects of cleanliness and mechanical faults most of the time the Chief Mate would be the one taking the notes. Most of the unlicensed crew would leave their x rated magazines opened to get a rise from the parade members.
 
#14 ·
Weekly inspection 1030hrs. Master , Chief Officer & Chief Steward did there rounds and the entry in the official logbook of - Masters inspection of all accommodation , galley , storerooms and outhouses -all found to be in a clean and sanitary condition. Most Masters I sailed with were reasonable about what they saw but a couple were white glove experts who liked to make the Chief Stewards day a misery. For apprentices it was a challenge as the threat if anything was wrong like soap stains on the shower walls , dust or dirt under the mattress ,unwashed cutlery or the wardrobe not neat and tidy it would be shore leave stopped in the next port or the port you were in at the time . I always remember one Master brushing his hand around the bottom of a cupboard after the ship had been rolling heavily and when he removed it into daylight it was covered in honey as was the sleeve of his number one jacket - result was no shoreleave and no sub in Melbourne .

Rgds.
Butters
 
#15 ·
Yes fond memories, early days lots of hard work getting ready for the Inspection always on a Sunday,Saturday night "work up" silver dip or enamel plate and soda to clean all the EPNS silver, including tea Pots, Coffe pots, Mustard outsides, Serviete rings. Use goddards plate powder on a scrubbing brush to take all the tarnish of the tines of the forks. All the silver draws had green felt, which all had to be brushed clean, that was the Saloon.
In the galley it was not so bad just had to make sure there were no bits of debris under the cooker or behind any fitment, main place the Capatin always looked was the fridges, always had to leave one fridge board up, so that the captain could look underneath.
Cabins had to be clean, new linen on the beds with bed made, rosies emptied and no loose wires shoved into electric sockets!
Later when I was Catr/Off, much easier, walk round with the Captain, Chief Eng, Mate and the Bosun. when all finished usually up to the old mans cabin for some hors dourves and a few drinks before lunch.
Interesting point on British Flag ships I never signed the log book saying that I took part in the Inspection, yet on two Monrovian Flag ships I had to sign the log.
Some ships after the inspection up to the Captains cabin for a few drinks and the Hors Dourves, then more drinks, then the request, lets have lunch in the old mans cabin, Stewards always made a good job of that, few more drinks, missed tea, next thing its time to turn to for breakfast. Very hard life.
I must admit that the last paragraph was not uncommon on Denholms, good crews hard working, but easy going when things were running well.
Yes I miss those times.
 
#16 ·
Blue Funnel, who just had to be different, held the captain's inspection every day except Sunday, at 10.30.
Captain, chief officer, chief engineer, chief steward, doctor/nurse, all processed through the accomodation, galley etc, all wearing white gloves and solemn expressions.
A ridiculous and unnecessary ritual.
Pat
 
#25 ·
Yes Pat, I will never forget those inspections.
I did two years as catering boy in the Peleus standing by in white jacket and dungarees while the party inspected my work.
I was dumb enough to think that one day they would tell me what a great job I was doing but all I ever got was a bollocking from the 2nd Steward and a list of things that weren't up to Bluies standard.
The benchmark was set so high that I could have worked 24/7 and it would still not be perfect.
Bluies never did inspections in port which caught me out when I joined Federal as I was having a beer at smoko in my cabin with a few of the lads when we were on the Kiwi coast, and the Mate walked in.
Cabin looked like a bomb had hit it and the 'rosie' was full of empty beer cans.
Mate was not best pleased.
Oh, happy days!!

Regards Phil (Thumb)
 
#17 · (Edited)
Yes Pat.I remember that very well and what a pain in the **** that was for the galley staff after breckfast cleanup, and ready to prepare for lunch the veg ect. On my first trip with Captain A K Hole he noticed a small piece of egg no bigger that a sixpence in the gash bucket and told the chef bill johnston to make sure I did my job properly.I wont tell you what bill said after they all left but believe me when I say he had a right go at the chief steward over it, inspections after that went very quickly and the galley staff were left alone.That was on the Elpenor 1955 Regards Tony
 
#19 · (Edited)
Greetings,

"The March of the Unemployed" aka "Bog Pan Gazing". I do remember one Old Man who used to "sniff the air" in the heads and complain about the "poor aim" of certain members of his ship's company.

I also remember a bit of a poem regarding rounds and if anybody can come up with the rest of it I would be eternally grateful, it goes,

The days are very simple in Ocean going ships;
There's a day for changing linen and a day for fish and chips.
But the day .... ...... ...... (Can't remember);
Is Friday, when the Captain, conducts his weekly Rounds.

Come on Chaps and Chapesses, there must be somebody out there with a copy in the darkest recesses of the loft.
 
#20 ·
Old mans rounds

When ever the 'unemployed' used to enter the galley on inspections, the cook on the Baltic boat I was on would always started draining fat from the fryer through a sieve into a pan. He always used to shout "mind yourselves gentlemen you might get hurt!!!" to which they would normally make themselves scarce pretty quick. Some how they never rumbled that the same thing happened every Sunday. The same cook would start drinking early in the day and always poured his 'tennents' into a pint enamel mug and proclaim loudly to all who cared to listen that he loved cold black tea. So he was often '3 sheets to the wind' by the time rounds has started.
 
#21 ·
Sunday morning, Captain's rounds. The previous evening we'd had chocolate mousse as a sweet. The bulkhead in one of the sailor's bogs was plastered with the remains of the mousse.
"Good God!" shouts the OM. "Which man did this?"
The bosun wipes his finger in it and licks it.
"Not one of our lads!"
 
#26 ·
A variation on the chocolate mousse story:
An AB who was ex-RN told me that on one navy ship, prior to inspection, he had put a dollop of peanut butter on the seat of one of the seamens' toilets. When the captain saw it he went berserk and shouted "What's that?!" This man scooped up some of the offending material on his finger, put it in his mouth then paused a moment before shouting "Sh*t, Sir!!"

I doubt it was true but it made me laugh for the rest of the watch.
 
#27 ·
Chris that reminds me of the lesson in observation when the medical lecturer stuck his finger in the orifice of a cadaver then licked it to make a learned comment and asked the students to do likewise.
They did with some excruciating expressions to which he remarked."If you were paying attention you would of noticed that I inserted my index finger and sucked my forefinger"

Bob
 
#28 · (Edited)
Shower gelly and brass

I remember vividly the Old Man on the Pipirikki,showed me the stuff what causes athelete's foot, or so he said.
So I made sure that stuff was scrubbed out of the showers for the rest of the trip. Plus he made us polish the toilet seats, very thorough inspection from that guy. I think his name was Jordan, he was Scottish. he was posh but not a bad
guy. Polished the taps and brass thresholds on all the steps on that ship, there was a lot of brass, big brass steamer in the pantry for water. that ship was 27 odd years old when I was on her and she was in not bad shape, clean and polished a lot better than some of the more modern ships I sailed on and had to clean.Plus I polished the old man's portholes in his cabin that had been painted over I was shown how to get the paint off them and get them back to the brass. got a few hours overtime for that, cleaned each one on number 3 hatch in my afternoon off hours.
But then I think that ship did one more trip and was scrapped. But i was glad I got to sail on a classic old ship like her. I guess your first ship is always special.

all the best(Thumb)
hughesy
 
#29 ·
Captains Inspections

The story goes a Stewardess is doing her first trip to sea on an Empress boat and is being taught the job by the Bedroom Steward on the same set of cabins.
The day before sailing day there is always a big inspection of the passenger accommodation.The BRS got a potty put lemonade and two sausage's in it and placed it under a bunk in one of the cabins.
they are waiting for the Captain and all the other heads to come and carry out the inspection.The BRS waits until the inspection party are in sight,says to the Stewardess lets have one more quick look around.He pulls the potty from under the bunk gives the Stewardess a quick look at it and declares "It's to late now" and with that he drinks the lemonade stuffs the sausages in his mouth,the Stewardess fainted.
I'm told this did realy happen,that's the Liverpool sense of humour.
 
#31 ·
The story goes a Stewardess is doing her first trip to sea on an Empress boat and is being taught the job by the Bedroom Steward on the same set of cabins.
The day before sailing day there is always a big inspection of the passenger accommodation.The BRS got a potty put lemonade and two sausage's in it and placed it under a bunk in one of the cabins.
they are waiting for the Captain and all the other heads to come and carry out the inspection.The BRS waits until the inspection party are in sight,says to the Stewardess lets have one more quick look around.He pulls the potty from under the bunk gives the Stewardess a quick look at it and declares "It's to late now" and with that he drinks the lemonade stuffs the sausages in his mouth,the Stewardess fainted.
I'm told this did realy happen,that's the Liverpool sense of humour.

A variation of the sausage story happened on ED's 'Tarkwa'. We carried about 75 passengers and as usual there was a contingent of RC nuns who were in the habit (no pun intended) of taking the sun on the fore part of the passenger deck.
One afternoon the bosun climbed up the mainmast ladder with a sausage stuck in his flies. It was noticed that some of the nuns were peering between the fingers which covered their horrified faces.
The 2nd mate on the bridge was desperately trying to attract the bosun's attention to his apparent state of undress. At last he got a response - the bosun looked down, pulled out his knife and sliced off the offending sausage throwing it over the side.

To this day nobody can agree how many nuns fainted.

Derek
 
#32 ·
A further (and true) variation of this story concerned an AB on Cunard's Ivernia, who entered a crowded bar in Mamhattan with the recently severed and plucked neck of a turkey protruding from his flies.
Several women fainted, strong men blanched, and the offending AB, was arrested and banged up for the night.
Pat
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top