[Eric Wallace]

I grew up in Scotland with tatties and mince but after doing some years in the MN I got to like curried dishes,Indian is the best.Now I add curry pwder to a lot of dishes.

[jg grant]

Originally Posted by tsell

One of the most revolting 'curries' I have ever been served was during the early '50's. We were dished up a weird looking, weird smelling, disgusting tasting mess on rice.
Not only was the dish revolting, but we the deck crew, were revolting also and threatened to toss the cook over the wall.
It turned out that the lazy sod had opened a few tins of pilchards in tomato sauce, threw in some curry powder, boiled it up and slopped it onto some wet rice. I can still smell it!

Taff

Hi Taff,"
Captain, captain, the men are revolting!". "Yes," he said, I'm inclined to agree". I'm off to the bays club now for a pint of aversion therapy. Regards Ronnie.

[Pat Thompson]

Greetings,

My favourite is Chicken Tarka, it's like a Chicken Tika but it's Otter!

[Satanic Mechanic]

Originally Posted by jamesgpobog

LOL...what's lava bread? Never heard of that.

Like I said, I can take a little, some kim chee is ok, some taco sauces are OK, but man, some people eat from a blowtorch. Not me...

Kimchi - the food of the gods, wonderful stuff - but you do need a dedicated fridge for it

Must admit I likea da 'burn' but taste is more important

[Plane Sailing]

Having experienced some of the best (and worst) curries that Indian crew can produce, I can relate to the following......................



NATAL CURRY CONTEST

If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope
for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this
slowly.
For those of you who have lived in Natal , you know how typical this
is.
They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July. It takes up a
major
portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB.

Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting
from America.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Curry
Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I
happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions
to the Beer Garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two
judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and,
besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I
accepted".

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2-- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3(Frank) -- Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.

CURRY # 2 - PHOENIXBBQ CHICKEN CURRY...
Judge # 1-- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously. Judge # 3-- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not
sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two
people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in
more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...
Judge # 1-- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2-- A bit salty, good use of chili peppers.
Judge # 3-- Call 911. I've located a uraniums pill. My nose feels like I
have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my
backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pissed from all
the beer.

CURRY # 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...
Judge # 1-- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge
#
2-- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other
mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3-- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer
maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is
starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili
an aphrodisiac?

CURRY # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1-- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2-- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the
chili peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her
chili had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding
by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning
my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to
stop screaming. Screw them.

CURRY # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1-- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of
spices and peppers.
Judge # 2-- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
Superb.
Judge # 3-- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to **** myself if I fart and I'm
worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand
behind me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to
wipe my ass with a snow cone ice-cream.

CURRY # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...
Judge # 1-- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2-- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that
I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as
he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3-- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my
shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing- it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting
any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch
hole in my stomach.

CURRY # 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY...
Judge # 1-- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold
but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2-- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed
out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure
if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have reacted to
really hot curry?
Judge # 3 - No Report.________________________________

[tsell]

Originally Posted by jamesgpobog

LOL...what's lava bread? Never heard of that.

Like I said, I can take a little, some kim chee is ok, some taco sauces are OK, but man, some people eat from a blowtorch. Not me...

James, details of this wonderful Welsh dish :

http://www.welshicons.org.uk/html/lava_bread.php


It's what real men have for breakfast in Wales!!

Cheers,

Taff

[tsell]

Originally Posted by jg grant

Hi Taff,"
Captain, captain, the men are revolting!". "Yes," he said, I'm inclined to agree". I'm off to the bays club now for a pint of aversion therapy. Regards Ronnie.

Hi Ronnie,
I suppose you could have had it on the degustation menu at the Mon. I hope the therapy worked.

Cheers,

Taff

[jamesgpobog]

Originally Posted by tsell

James, details of this wonderful Welsh dish :

http://www.welshicons.org.uk/html/lava_bread.php


It's what real men have for breakfast in Wales!!

Cheers,

Taff

I.....I.......I got nuthin'............

[tom roberts]

My Dad and I made a curry when I was home on leave, he had it during the war and when I mentioned we had it on board some ships he decided we would give it a go,my mam was out at the time when she came home she threw us and the curry out of the house,you are stinking out the whole of Ruthin she screamed,we ended up in the shed bottom of the garden,my uncle Dyffyd must have got a whiff he called around came to the shed but I knew what he was really after as I always brought home a bottle of Mount Gay Rum for him,we left the shed stinking of curry and half cut. The worst curries I ever had were on The City Of Khartoum I ndian cooks as well, they were crap.

[trotterdotpom]

Originally Posted by jamesgpobog

LOL...what's lava bread? Never heard of that.

Like I said, I can take a little, some kim chee is ok, some taco sauces are OK, but man, some people eat from a blowtorch. Not me...

Lava bread is just like ordinary bread, but baked in a volcano.

Famous last words in Pohang: "We'd better get out of here, he's just pis*ed in the Kim Chee pot!" Well, it smelt the same as the toilet ...

John T

[John Rogers]

You can have my share Taff.

[jaolt1]

Absolutely love a good curry. My Father used to tell me that a bead of sweat should appear on ones forehead with the first bite!

[cueball44]

Yeh, but what about the rice?, do you make sure it is fluffed up easily, or does it end up gooey and only fit for a bill posters bucket?.

[Satanic Mechanic]

Originally Posted by cueball44

Yeh, but what about the rice?, do you make sure it is fluffed up easily, or does it end up gooey and only fit for a bill posters bucket?.

Basmati - this is non negotiable

[alan ward]

Tsell,my old man was the same.Despite being an ex-seafarer his taste buds were only fit for roast beef,fish and chips etc.he didn`t even like chicken!He once sailed with Booths and described their chinese cooking as `30 different ways of cooking cabbage`a complete heathen!I once asked him why he wouldn`t eat a nything ethnic and he said`I have prosecuted too many of them`(he was an EHO)we can`t even get a curry now as my missus won`t eat indian as she can`t stand ghee.What is a man to do?

[jamesgpobog]

Originally Posted by Satanic Mechanic

Basmati - this is non negotiable

But..... I like sticky rice...

[ALLAN WILD]

We used to get curry on the menu every "morning" in Ellermans, for breakfast

[5TT]

Hey John T, good to see you hanging out with the taste buds !!

Where I grew up the local fish and chip shop closed at 10pm, so when you were kicked out of the pub at 10:30 after a few pints of Watneys Dead Barrel the only place you could get some nosh was the Indian restaurant nearby.
It was fun experimenting with all the different curries but after you've progressed to the phals and vindaloos there's no going back.
For anybody who enjoys a good capsaisin kick, or something to remove oil stains from your garage floor I recommend Dave's Insanity sauce, you'll wonder how you ever did without it :-)

= Adrian +

[cueball44]

Curry is ok (for the bloke who's eaten it) but l for one found myself being shown the spare room after trying to get alongside bum island, especially if i had been on tetley bitter followed by a large plate of vindaloo.

[Philthechill]

Originally Posted by Satanic Mechanic

Oh Ho now your talking my language

Yeah tried that mix - its ok but not the real thing. If you want a ready mix with a bit of va va voom and a lot of taste can I recommend a couple of places on Ebay UK - in particular one that sounds like The Surry Chop who have been sending me curry mixes all over the world for a number of years now for when I can't get the right spices.

If you have the raw spices - one thing I would do above all else - toast the whole cummin and corriander seeds then grind them - makes a world of difference.

Oh and you can never have too many onions, dont go over board with tomatoes and ask Chilly about Sri Lankan (possibly Bangladesh)curries made from reheated lava

A tale about a Ceylon, (Sri Lanka) curry!!

We were working cargo out in the harbour, in Colombo, and the blokes working on the ship had their nosh brought-out in big dixies, (one full of curried-fish and the other fillied with rice), and served-up to them on banana-leaves.

I asked if I could have-a-go and was served-up this fish-curry and rice.

Dear God! It was incredibly hot, (spice-wise), and, after a few, (probably four/five), spoon-fulls, I just couldn't eat any more and with bright-red face, burnig gob, streaming eye's and the amused laughter of the dockers following me, I headed for my cabin and drank the entire ice-water contents of my Thermos jug.

Even though I'd had the minimum amount of the curry a certain part of my anatomy felt as though it was passing the re-heared lava John mentioned-----and all a very short-time after eating the fish-curry!!

Doubtless if anyone had caught a glimpse of this long-suffering organ it would have been protruding like a burst blood-orange!!!

Hot? Yes, I would say it most deferably was!!!! Salaams, Phil

[alan ward]

visit you tube and watch Man vs Food and see some of the stuff he eats,it`ll turn your stomach.However he visits the laughingly name Brick Lane Curry House and tries a Fal!

[Seawitch Artist]

Curry is a swear word in my house, twice a day, every day theres a green cloud I can't fend off, it rises from the flat below me!

[deckboypeggy]

Hi Pat,great recipe,just wonderd why you BARK, as you say you do after using your "mortar and pestal". is it that good

[kevjacko]

Originally Posted by alan ward

visit you tube and watch Man vs Food and see some of the stuff he eats,it`ll turn your stomach.However he visits the laughingly name Brick Lane Curry House and tries a Fal!

I've watched a few of these in morbid fascination, and I see much of what is wrong with America today. Downright gluttony. Saw one yesterday where he ate a 72 once steak and all the trimmings in under an hour, cheered on by a room full of fat people.

[jamesgpobog]

Originally Posted by kevjacko

I've watched a few of these in morbid fascination, and I see much of what is wrong with America today. Downright gluttony. Saw one yesterday where he ate a 72 once steak and all the trimmings in under an hour, cheered on by a room full of fat people.

Nah, what's wrong isn't gluttony, it's stupidity coupled with selfishness.