Great one liners from Houlders Guys - Page 3 - Ships Nostalgia
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Great one liners from Houlders Guys

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  #51  
Old 17th December 2017, 02:25
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Said about Gerald Ford after he took over the US Presidency from Nixon-
"He can't chew gum and walk at the same time"

Bob
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  #52  
Old 17th December 2017, 05:35
Engine Serang Engine Serang is offline  
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Trigger was a road sweeper and was as bright as a button.
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  #53  
Old 17th December 2017, 06:31
kauvaka kauvaka is offline  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tsell View Post
We could have had the same teacher, as she wrote on my report: "Incredibly stupid boy, steadfastly refuses to learn the Welsh language. He will end up as a road sweeper in my humble opinion." (I thought about that when holystoning the deck!)

I'd refused to learn any Welsh, as she belted me around the head with her hand and blackboard rubber because I couldn't spell the Welsh word for 'window'!

Spelling: 'ffenestr' - (thanks, Google!!)

Taff
One of the few words of French I remember is that for window= fenetre as in ouvre la/le ? fenetre. Similar?
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  #54  
Old 17th December 2017, 06:59
trotterdotpom trotterdotpom is offline  
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Originally Posted by Farmer John View Post
Written on my report, about the age of nine "Philip is incredibly stubborn" Incredibly was underlined 3 times in red ink.
Looks like you got some other kid's report Farmer John. Let's hope Philip's parents were pleased with yours.

John T
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  #55  
Old 17th December 2017, 07:11
tsell tsell is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spongebob View Post
Said about Gerald Ford after he took over the US Presidency from Nixon-
"He can't chew gum and walk at the same time"

Bob
I was in the US just after Reagan became President. On a wall was a bit of old graffiti: GONZO FOR PRESIDENT!

A couple of days later, same one: GONZO IS PRESIDENT!! (WORD 'FOR' WAS CROSSED OUT!)

Taff
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  #56  
Old 17th December 2017, 07:20
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Originally Posted by kauvaka View Post
One of the few words of French I remember is that for window= fenetre as in ouvre la/le ? fenetre. Similar?
Kauvaka, Hi!! That was the bloody word that got me into trouble. I'd learned some words off the 'Free French' blokes who were billeted near us. This was during the war. Every time I was required to write the Welsh spelling, I inadvertently used the French one. The teacher obviously didn't know French or she would have realised what I was unintentionally doing. Without Google, I honestly couldn't have given the correct spelling even today! The double eff got me effed!

Taff
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  #57  
Old 17th December 2017, 08:51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kauvaka View Post
One of the few words of French I remember is that for window= fenetre as in ouvre la/le ? fenetre. Similar?
Also in English! as in Fenestration - The arrangement of windows in a building (or a surgical procedure in the ear).
It was the English use to which she objected.
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  #58  
Old 17th December 2017, 10:00
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tsell View Post
We could have had the same teacher, as she wrote on my report: "Incredibly stupid boy, steadfastly refuses to learn the Welsh language. He will end up as a road sweeper in my humble opinion." (I thought about that when holystoning the deck!)

I'd refused to learn any Welsh, as she belted me around the head with her hand and blackboard rubber because I couldn't spell the Welsh word for 'window'!

Spelling: 'ffenestr' - (thanks, Google!!)

Taff
She should have been defenestrated.
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  #59  
Old 17th December 2017, 10:14
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My Gran on my Dad's side spoke Welsh. It's an interesting language, but if somebody is speaking it to you you're advised to wear a waterproof hood and a raincoat.

My one liner for Welsh would be that there's no dyslexia in Wales, all the bloody letters are totally jumbled up to start with !!!
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  #60  
Old 17th December 2017, 11:23
Johnny Walker Johnny Walker is offline  
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Originally Posted by spongebob View Post
Said about Gerald Ford after he took over the US Presidency from Nixon-
"He can't chew gum and walk at the same time"

Bob
I prefer President Johnson's " He can't chew gum and fart at the same time."
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  #61  
Old 17th December 2017, 11:28
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Originally Posted by Mad Landsman View Post
Also in English! as in Fenestration - The arrangement of windows in a building (or a surgical procedure in the ear).
It was the English use to which she objected.
Also in Scotland as in "He was shown the window."
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  #62  
Old 17th December 2017, 11:30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tsell View Post
I was in the US just after Reagan became President. On a wall was a bit of old graffiti: GONZO FOR PRESIDENT!

A couple of days later, same one: GONZO IS PRESIDENT!! (WORD 'FOR' WAS CROSSED OUT!)

Taff
1970s Labour election poster in Greenock showing a long queue at the unemployment office.

"LABOUR WORKS!" was the oversize tagline, written underneath was:

"SO DOES SYRUP OF FIGS!"
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  #63  
Old 17th December 2017, 12:06
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Originally Posted by Engine Serang View Post
#8 Houlders only.

I should have realised this as I never met a Houlders guy who could string two sentences together. Sorry.
We were taught not to waste words
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  #64  
Old 17th December 2017, 12:13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jon Vincent View Post
Royston Grange 1968, sailing B.A. forecastle head, first tripper to Bosun, "How do I know if I have dose of the clap", reply "son when you go for a p-- and your eyeballs fall out".
R.G.again, 1969 as told by the late John Hurley to a first trip cadet arriving back on board at 0600 from Rio Grande De Sul-

If you've been a naughty boy check for pox every morning by peeing into a glass and squeezing your balls hard. If the pee is clear and your balls hurt then you are fine.

We had fun listening to this through the paper thin bulkheads
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  #65  
Old 17th December 2017, 12:16
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Can you lay eggs as well., said by black Bart on the Royston as a certain cadet was demonstrating his incredible multi jointed capabilities by wrapping his legs behind his head and bobbing his head up and down into his crutch whilst wearing his cap.
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  #66  
Old 17th December 2017, 14:43
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The best one liner l heard in St John's NL from an AB referring to some light fingered characters that hung around the waterfront.
"Watch these mother effers they'll steal the hardness out of your c**k"
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  #67  
Old 17th December 2017, 14:56
Barrie Youde Barrie Youde is online now  
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Daft as a brush!
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  #68  
Old 17th December 2017, 15:19
Engine Serang Engine Serang is offline  
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No trouble filling in the Log Book then.
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  #69  
Old 17th December 2017, 15:21
alex clark alex clark is offline  
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one liners

Wellpark .How long you been at sea son?5years sir.Been longer on a open scrubbing brush.
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  #70  
Old 17th December 2017, 16:13
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Geeze,what the hell was that bang.
Mayor of Hiroshima,
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  #71  
Old 17th December 2017, 21:21
holland25 holland25 is offline  
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After you with off.
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  #72  
Old 17th December 2017, 23:08
tsell tsell is offline
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Originally Posted by Mad Landsman View Post
Also in English! as in Fenestration - The arrangement of windows in a building (or a surgical procedure in the ear).
It was the English use to which she objected.
That's it!!! She stuck me in a corner, face to the wall, with about three inches of chalk sticking out of my ear!! I was totally f-ffenestrated!

Taff
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  #73  
Old 17th December 2017, 23:13
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She should have been defenestrated.
Looking back, Robert, I don't think anybody would have been game to defenestrate her, as she was so ugly!

Taff
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  #74  
Old 18th December 2017, 05:13
GWB GWB is offline  
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He is as useless as **** on a Bull
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  #75  
Old 18th December 2017, 07:48
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Looking back, Robert, I don't think anybody would have been game to defenestrate her, as she was so ugly!

Taff
Ah...what should we do with the ugly ones?
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