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Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
The Chaos by Gerard Trenite
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
George Santayana (1863 - 1952)
Gulpers, this is the kind of question, along with ones about stowage, that my father, former US Merchant Mariner, used to make up for me when I was studying calculus. Needless to say, with all my mathematical studies, I was not equipped to solve them. This then was proof that university calculus wasn't good for much of anything. He strengthened the point by putting me in situations where I was to figure out such things on the spot. (I couldn't; he could.)
Since Transit determining Longitude has contributed to global warming and atmospheric pollution.
(Is longitudinal stability not more of an aircraft 'thing' than a sailor boy 'thing'?)
Can´t remember where I found this :-
SHIP STABILITY FOR ENGINEERS
All ship stability depends upon the fact that it is unnatural for ships made of steel to float on the surface of the water. Therefore it is necessary to paint the hull of the ship with waterproof paint, with a relative density of less than 1.0
TERMS USED IN STABILITY
Metacentre : this a mythical spot somewhere in the region of a vessel. Its actual location is determined by a complex mathematical/astrological process involving the First Point of Aries and the Root Mean Square of the Master’s shoe size.
Metacentric Height : as it suggests, this is the height of the Metacentre above the keel (a small town in Germany).
Centre of Gravity : a hypothetical point where the weight of the ship is said to act. Naturally this point must be made especially strong to support all this weight.
Centre of Flotation : a major financial institution in the City of London.
Righting Lever : If a vertical line is drawn down from the CofG and another is drawn up from the CofF, the distance in a horizontal line between the two of them is known as the righting lever. The length of the righting lever depends on the geographical location of the ship, which means that the ship will have greater stability the further away it gets from London (the CofF). The opposite effect is called the lefting lever and will cause the ship to turn upside down. If the paint job has been done properly then the ship will not sink. However, certain operations, such as the carriage of cargo, eating soup and playing deck tennis will be much more complicated to undertake.
The principle of loading any kind of ship is to get most of the cargo into the holds. This is not as straightforward as it seems due to Coreolis Effect.
Upon conclusion of the loading operation it is normal practice to read the draft. This is a complicated procedure involving a gangway, a flashlight and a notebook (with pen). Under certain extraordinary circumstances it may not be necessary to use a flashlight, but the statistical chances of completing the loading operation in daylight are so small as to be negligible.
Having read the draft it will not be necessary to calculate it, thus saving the overworked Chief Officer from doing hard sums.
These should be attended to by a qualified medical practitioner at the earliest opportunity, before being duly entered in the Seaman’s Discharge Book.
Any hole that appears in the side of the ship should be stuffed with mattresses, etc. to prevent cargo falling out. The ship will probably take a list to the afflicted side, but this is quite normal and is due to the weight of the mattresses which will now be waterlogged.
Neither of you has quoted the essential prime tenet of naval architecture (which I know is the true gen. as I got it directly from Trevor Blakeley at our Titanic Dinner):
"If the hole is big enough the vessel will sink".
Here we go again, people (who should know better) quoting Naval Architects.
As we all know Masters and Mates use their skills to keep the ship on the blue bits of the map and should there be a little embarrassment the Chief and his Engineers start the pumps and save the day.
Where is our Naval Architect when all this manly endeavour is going on? He is sitting in his warm office with his tweedy jacket on and his well thumbed copy of Reeds Naval Architecture open on his desk. He is probably doing sums in his jotter with a Parker biro, using his British Thornton slide rule and wondering should he have brown windsor soup for lunch.
Meanwhile back at sea the Mate is sounding the double bottom tanks and the Engineers are putting on the second bilge pump and opening the emergency bilge suction. And hoping there is pork vindaloo for lunch. With chapatais.
God its a man's life at sea.
Yes but its not so much a man's life when one is in the sea (such as when the hole is big enough or, the corollary I assume, when there are enough holes).
I don't remember blue bits on charts. Your lookout chaps weren't using an atlas by any chance? Almost as bad as using only GPS (perhaps not. At least one can be very precise indeed as to where one has one's embarrassment - assuming the aerial's still connected, of course).
I had an acquaintance who managed his local cruising around the Gulf Islands by using an illustrated place mat from a waterfront restaurant.
Au contraire monsieur Varley, au contraire; I'm told that it can be a mans life in a hyperbaric lifeboat.
If you can't stick to the blue bits on the map*/chart*/ECDIS* then stay clear of the mustardy yellow bits and grease the spindles of all bilge valves.
If the ship is GMDSS, best of luck and if you carry a Sparky keep him off the toot.
* Delete as appropiate. Foreign Flag can delete all.
I am fully behind the policy 'hope for the best prepare for the worst'. All you need to keep Sparky off the sauce is to give him (or her) some proper work. Perhaps determining when and with what the plumbers should grease their spindles and providing the illumination for this most cerebral of tasks.
As for working under pressure. Can be effective providing one has time off to tidy it up afterwards.
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