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Now that the Politically Correct thread has been closed down (yes, it had got a little off key) I thought some of our Members may like to comment on the fact that advances in communication and electronic filing have meant that more and more people know more and more about us.

As an example, I submit the following telephone discussion which may (or may not) have occurred when a pizza was ordered by telephone:

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I help you?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's

6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. And my machine says you are calling from your home."

Customer: "Huh? Yeah, I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the national home front protection system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas. "

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider may sue us if we provide you such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Darn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a Harley?"

Operator: "It says here you were in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/[email protected]&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to soon-to-be diabetics.”

 

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Bilge Rat
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ha ha ha! now aint that the screaming truth!. so funny its bound to become true Doug
 

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billyboy said:
ha ha ha! now aint that the screaming truth!. so funny its bound to become true Doug
NOT FUNNEEEEE! This is the truth...25 odd years ago we were stuck in L.A. as our 'plane had broken down...in Singapore...we were put up in a flash hotel and, after all of the rigmarole of checking in etc we were assigned room 88...as soon as I got settled I switched on the TV...from channel 1 through channel 23 I saw nothing but adverts...as the TV was a digital I thought I would try channel 88...the screen went bright blue...then white writing started moving up the screen...it gave my name, home address, local address, age, sex, where I was going etc...it then went on to tell me I had been cleared to watch blue movies and it would cost me $1...a minute...please press X for acceptance or Z to switch off...I chose Z...my wife asked me what was wrong and I said...that bloody TV knows more about us than we know about ourselves...I'm pretty sure technology has advanced in leaps and bounds some 25 years on! So, your little funeeeeeeee is already fact!! No LOL matter!! I rest my case, your Honour! (K) Vix
 

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Bilge Rat
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Point taken VIX, had no idea it had got that far mate. Good job you were with your own wife mate, TV may have warned you if you wernt.
 

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Bilge Rat
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Come to think about it...Irode with a young lady in an elevator once when we were leaving a high rise block. the security were all smiles when we got out at the bottom, wonder if there was a camera in there???
 

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billyboy said:
Come to think about it...Irode with a young lady in an elevator once when we were leaving a high rise block. the security were all smiles when we got out at the bottom, wonder if there was a camera in there???
You could be right there Billyboy...in the Auckland casino the only places that DOESN"T have hidden cameras...are the may toilets...and maybe only the cubicles at that!! Vix (Night)
 

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Bilge Rat
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on a TV show some years ago. a couple in a car decided to pull over onto the hard shoulder of the motorway to make love in thier car ... in full view of a police traffic camera on a gantry ... the police phoned the emergency phone nearby, the man got out and answered it, then got back into the car to finish off, waving up at the camera. think he lost his driving licence.
 

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billyboy said:
on a TV show some years ago. a couple in a car decided to pull over onto the hard shoulder of the motorway to make love in thier car ... in full view of a police traffic camera on a gantry ... the police phoned the emergency phone nearby, the man got out and answered it, then got back into the car to finish off, waving up at the camera. think he lost his driving licence.
They most certainly lost their innocence either way!! Vix...Smirk, you're on Candid Digital!!
 

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Doug H said:
Now that the Politically Correct thread has been closed down (yes, it had got a little off key) I thought some of our Members may like to comment on the fact that advances in communication and electronic filing have meant that more and more people know more and more about us.

As an example, I submit the following telephone discussion which may (or may not) have occurred when a pizza was ordered by telephone:

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I help you?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's

6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. And my machine says you are calling from your home."

Customer: "Huh? Yeah, I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the national home front protection system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas. "

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider may sue us if we provide you such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Darn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a Harley?"

Operator: "It says here you were in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/[email protected]&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to soon-to-be diabetics.”
LOL!That's brilliant!
 
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