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DID YOU KNOW THAT ANTS NEVER GET SICK ? IT'S BECAUSE THEY HAVE LITTLE ANTY BODIES !!!
 

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Just because Bob posts on the other company vessel doesn't mean you never score on the his groan-o-meter. You just have. FSD.
 

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The way women think.............


Husband’s Text Message to wife

Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office.
Paula brought me to the Hospital.
Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays.
Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches.
I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in the left leg. Amputation of my right foot is a possibility.

Love you.

Wife’s Response:
Who's Paula?
 
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My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner...

so I took the battery out of the smoke alarm.
 

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I called the RSPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs."
"That's terrible," the woman on the phone replied. "Are they moving?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."
 

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Chacun a son gout,mon ami!

Not a side splitter but humour can be found in the oddest of place. This seems no more than an example of black humour.

You know Aussies; they are a really weird bunch and like their humour somewhat on the dry side.

Nick
 

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The way women think.............


Husband’s Text Message to wife


Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office.
Paula brought me to the Hospital.
Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays.
Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches.
I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in the left leg. Amputation of my right foot is a possibility.
Love you.


Wife’s Response:
Who's Paula?
I really think making a joke out of a person who has suffered such grievous injuries is a little sick, don't you.? Think of the kiddies!:)

Nick
 

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Has COVID-19 and/or the new site turned us all into snowflakes unable to enjoy a joke? 😷
 

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Discussion Starter #2,375
The thing is, would your grand, or great grand kids understand the joke??
 

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I wasn't complaining about the 'joke' - although I didn't find any humour in it - but was questioning whether it was appropriate for the particular thread. There is plenty of space in the 'Stormy Weather' forum, on which I often post similar items that could be considered unsuitable for family viewing.
 
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Sorry to have offended anyone.
It seemed light hearted to me in this current world of doom and gloom and I certainly did not intend or anticipate that members here would be offended.
I have deleted (amended into nothing) my original post.
I see Greta and her family in a negative light but certainly not her cause. That however is for another day ............
Keep smiling and stay safe.😷
 

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Beckett, our great grandson, is not yet three but I shall try out the joke on him the next time we meet and let you know his reaction. BTW, my middle aged children don't even understand my sense of humour, so it is very unlikely Beckett. will; It's generational thing, innit?

Nick
 

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On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of
your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.
How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
And God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do
tricks, and make them laugh.
For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That's a pretty long time to perform.
How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God, again saw it was good.
God Created


On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field
with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give
milk to support the farmer's family.
For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and
enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said, "Only twenty years?
Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten
the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty,
okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves.
For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I'm doing it as a public service.
If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.
 
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