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I need some help. A very good friend of mine is getting married very soon and I need to send a message. I can recall part of a message that used to be sent to lads getting married from ships. Part of it was "in the lea of bum island with three in the pipe". However I can't recall the rest of it. Can anyone with a better memory help me out with the full script.
Thanks,
 

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'Anchored in the lee of bum Island' - I included this in a 'telegram' to a wedding party aboard a Celebrity ship recently. The party were not seafarers and I expected the ship's staff to be able to translate such not so arcane terms. Sadly they were not. It went down quite well. Evidently the vessel's Sat C had never received a 'private' message before.

I thought it was 'report speed and position midnight'


(F'ing expensive at GBP 65 and no R/O's PDH!)
 

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I was very hurtfully accused of occasional flatulence when I was at sea and on my wedding day a former shipmate sent the following "Hope wind abates before berthing." I wonder if everyone understood it?
 

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Not nautical but, at the wedding of D1, I reminded our new SiL always to remember to say "Sorry" - because it would be the only way he would have the last word! :)
 

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Sent to a 4/ft junior engineer from Barrow In Furness who had to fly home to to an urgent marriage, quoting a WD 40 advert, "It's amazing what a little squirt can do"
 

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I wanted to send a funny telegram to my friend who was getting married. I asked the R.O. if he had any suggestions. Yes, a great one that he had used for years. Next time I saw the R.O. he said that Portishead would not accept the message as it was too rude. I then sent an normal greeting instead. The reject message was ' indicate position and depth at midnight '
 

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All,
In a similar vein the RN used to send pre-arrival letter to the returning lad's home advising them about his unusual behaviour traits, such as weening back on to Fresh Milk, offering to buy the neighbours daughter and sitting outside on the kerb shouting "where's my fast black?"Frequently commenting on the TV to be focused followed by "You expletive deleted"
Has anyone heard of similar letters home.
yours aye,
slick
 
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