I am going to walk to the village shop every day instead of driving there.
I am going to the gym three days a week in order to restore the muscles that deserted me years ago.
I am going to stop buying the demon drink and waking up with a headache every morning.
I am going to stop addressing women as "darling" or "Dear" or even "mam or Lady" because I am going to become politically correct. I will no longer offend them by holding a door for them although I might do that for another man. Instead I will simply let it go and swat them out into the supermarket yard wherein they can review their consideration of what constitutes good manners.
In defence of the climate I will cook my fillet steaks to rare rather than as well done as I would prefer, and then I will use the fossil fuel energy that I have saved to contribute to my country’s carbon saving initiative.
I will stop laughing with a comforting feeling of superiority at the political turmoil in the United States under Trump, and accept that although we might have the world's most ancient democracy we are still all governed by idiots.
I have carefully written down this list of resolutions and have planned how best I can implement them but, clearly, they must be introduced in a phased manner in order to avoid upsetting the natural balance that I have been warned about by my carer.
Therefore I expect that the first of these resolutions will be established in 2025 after due consideration, with the others following at biannual intervals thereafter as cir***stances permit. This I have learned from the leaders of my government, and it seems a good policy to me since with a following wind my term of office will be ended before I am called to account for them!