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Discussion Starter #1
MILITARY PILOT WORDS OF WISDOM



"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."

U.S. Air Force Manual

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Clean it, if it's Dirty.

Oil it, if it Squeaks.

But: Don't Screw with it if it Works!

USAF Electronic Technician

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"If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him."

USAF - Ammo Troop

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"Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ,

I Shall Fear No Evil.

For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."

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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."

- Paul F. Crickmore ( test pilot )

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A Navigator's Definition of Latitude & Longitude:

Latitude is Where We are Lost, &

Longitude is How Long We've been Lost There!

USAF Navi-guesser

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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter --

however, it's probably unsafe in any case "

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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine air plane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?

If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies;

If ATC screws up, .... The pilot dies."

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The three most common expressions (or famous last words), in aviation are:

"Why is it doing that?"

"Where are we?"

and

"Oh Sh..t!"

(Note: These are actually true.)

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" Airspeed, altitude and brains.

Two out of three are needed to successfully complete the flight."

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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation.

We never left one up there!"

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"Flying the air plane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground who is incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."

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"The Piper Cub is the safest air plane in the world; it can just barely kill you."

- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."

- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970

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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."

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"You know that your landing gear is up and locked

when it takes FULL power to taxi to the terminal."

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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "Beats the sh....t outta me, I just got here myself."

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And finally for us Army folks

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."

Infantry Journal(Jester)
 

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Nice selection John.
And as one ex RN Bod told me:

'There are only 2 types of ship. Submarines and targets'

Guess in which part of the service he served.
 

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Have to borrow a few of those … (Jester)

Also like your thread title John: Ords of Wisdom. Sounds like something Frodo and Sam would carry to Mt Doom in Mordor … :sweat:
 

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All very good John, with that element of truth in each one. If I may add one told me by a flying instructor friend who was ex U.S Army helo crew.


"That propeller thing at the front is only there to keep the pilot cool.


Watch him start sweating when it stops."
 

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Military humour (inevitably dark) as told to me by my Old Man, (shipped out for El Alamein, got wounded out in Northern Italy) was always funny. I think the more extreme the situation, the better the way to deal with it was with humour, albeit blacker than a deep, deep cave.

I had a lot of difficulty getting my Old Man to tell me about his experiences, but the few stories he did tell me, were always laced with that style of humour.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Combat facts

you are not superman.

If its stupid but works its not stupid

don't look conspicuous- it draws fire. That's why aircraft carriers are called bomb magnets

when in doubt, empty your magazine

never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are

if your attack is going great its an ambush

no plan survives the first contact intact

all five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds

try to look unimportant because the bad guys maybe low on ammo

if you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short

the enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack

beer math is; two beers times 37 men=49 cases

things that must be together to work, usually cant be shipped together

radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately

anything you do can get you shot- including doing nothing

tracers work both ways

the only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire

make it tough for the enemy to get in and you cant get out

when both sides are convinced that they are about to loose, they are both right

professional soldiers are predictable. But the world is full of amateurs

murphy was a grunt.
 

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John Rogers #1
Hi all, one I read somewhere. Pilot to navigator,'If you hear me say,eject,eject, eject, the last two are echoes. HE HE.
 

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Combat facts

you are not superman.

If its stupid but works its not stupid

don't look conspicuous- it draws fire. That's why aircraft carriers are called bomb magnets

when in doubt, empty your magazine

never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are

if your attack is going great its an ambush

no plan survives the first contact intact

all five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds

try to look unimportant because the bad guys maybe low on ammo

if you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short

the enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack

beer math is; two beers times 37 men=49 cases

things that must be together to work, usually cant be shipped together

radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately

anything you do can get you shot- including doing nothing

tracers work both ways

the only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire

make it tough for the enemy to get in and you cant get out

when both sides are convinced that they are about to loose, they are both right

professional soldiers are predictable. But the world is full of amateurs

murphy was a grunt.
Attributed to Helmuth Graf von Moltke, Chief of Staff of the Prussian army in the mid-19th Century
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Thanks Long Gone for posting the writers name. Did they have Murphy's law back then. I know Shi## happens everywhere.
 

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When the British fire, the Germans duck; when the Germans fire, the Allies duck; when the Americans fire, everyone ducks
Quote from a beater on a shoot let for the day to American clients",

"First time I've done it on my hands and knees". If it moved, they shot it.
 
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