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Discussion Starter #1
Just been reading a Sunday supplement recipe, it contained 6 squidges of tomato sauce and 2 squidges of honey. Heard of alll sorts of measurements but never a Squidge!!! Trendy chefs agh!!!
 

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I used to be married to a lady who used such expressions. I told her I couldn't wait for her cookery book to be published. Sadly she never wrote one.

I think a squidge may be a squirt from a plastic squeezy bottle. Not as precise as a dollop.
 

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I used to be married to a lady who used such expressions. I told her I couldn't wait for her cookery book to be published. Sadly she never wrote one.

I think a squidge may be a squirt from a plastic squeezy bottle. Not as precise as a dollop.
Exactly my understanding. A "squidge" is a single squeeze from one of those plastic bottles that is designed to stand on its cap, and when squeezed discharges a squirt of ketchup or whatever. A "Dollop", however, is a discharge from an upright bottle or container that has to be shaken vigorously before anything will come out (a thixotrophic mixture). Such a container needs to then be inverted and thumped firmly upon its base, resulting in a "dollop" that may amount to anything from a small spot to half a litre.

For anyone with nothing better to do, it might be worth investigating European Union Directives, since in there somewhere there are certain to be Regulations defining what is a "Squidge" and a "Dollop" with repercussions for any member state that does not enable the Directive.

So there!
 

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Excellent, ART 6. The dollop sometimes misfires as portrayed by the poet Maudleen O'Blibhionn as follows:

"Shake and shake the ketchup bottle.
"None will come and then a lot'll."
 

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Posted this before - but it fits the bill - so one more time
 

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Its also a techical engineering term for applying Grease to a overhauled job to a cadet with hands the size of shovels.(?HUH)
 

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DIRECTIVE NO. 2011/10087/EC

FLAVOURING ADDITIVES TO PRE-PREPARED FOODS
ENGLISH TRANSLATION SUMMARY
(See practical advice for compliance clauses in red)

1. This Directive applies to pre-prepared foods intended for human consumption (but not for animals – See Directive 2009/1235/EC)
Not all farm animals are fond of Heinz Tomato Ketchup
2. The Directive does not consider the appropriateness of the additive to the quality of the pre-prepared food intended for human consumption. See exemptions on page No. 27,000.
It is recognised that some pre-prepared foods are inedible without additives, mostly those from fast food outlets.
3. Some additives and pre-prepared foods are discouraged in view of their potential contribution to global climate change (EU Consultation paper upon baked beans etc.)
Others, including some strong curry sauces eaten after consumption of alcohol may contribute to urban pollution.
3. The Directive does not consider whether the pre-prepared food for human consumption is actually suitable for that purpose. However, reference should be made to (EC) No 1774/2002 (Animal By-Products Directive).
Anything that is offered wrapped in anything other than the European Journal should be avoided. In addition, animal products should be avoided in favour of broccoli after the consumption of alcohol. However, some fruits such as strawberries are biodegradable and taste as nice coming up as they do going down.

Definitions

1. “Squidge”.
A term applied to the discharge of a plastic or other container of additives or enhancements to pre-prepared foods for human consumption where it is necessary to squeese (see definition of “Squeese” in page 20013 and EC/2002/1327/EC regulating the use of the term “Squeese”) the container in a vertical position with the discharge end pointed down.
Such containers should under no cir***stances be pointed upwards when squeezing as doing so could result in the discharge of the contents into the eyes. If that occurs medical advice should be sought immediately unless a ready supply of potato chips is available (see Directive EC/2001/1234)
2. “Dollop”
A term applied to the discharge of a plastic or other container containing an additive of thixotropic nature, where the container has to be inverted, shaken, and struck vigorously by the heel of the hand to discharge its contents.
Users are warned that striking a container that has not been shaken beforehand might lead to the contents being discharged at an uncontrolled rate. This might result in the food product becoming overwhelmed by the additive, although it is recognised that this might actually enhance some fast food products.
3. “Container”
An enclosed vessel that is biologically sealed upon purchase that may be made of plastic, glass, metal (but not Uranium or other potentially radioactive or carcinogenic material), goat skin, palm leaves or (in Scotland only) sheep's stomach or ox se*** provided that those have been prepared according to(EC) No 1774/2002 (Animal By-Products Directive). Such a “container” shall be made of a material of weight and capacity that permits its being lifted, squeezed, or shaken by persons of limited dexterity including the inability to recognise a container.
The degree of pressure necessary for a squeeze should be judged before purchase to ensure that the user is capable of applying the necessary pressure. However, this should not be attempted with sheep’s stomachs or ox se***s when they are still part of the living animal as a violent reaction might occur.

Regulations

1. A “Squidge” shall consist of a food additive of not more than two cubic centimetres of additive per squeeze by a person of European Standard dexterity (see Directive 2009/100577/EC).
A person of average dexterity is generally defined as one who (a) is able to close a forefinger and thumb together on either or both hands and (b) who recognises the need to do so, or (c) understands that upturning a vessel and striking it with the palm of the hand might result in the loss of the contents.
2. A “Dollop” shall consist of a food additive of not less that two cubic centimetres and not more that one litre having been shaken by a person of European Standard dexterity (see 1. Above).
It should be noted that this Regulation does not define the capacity of the container from which the “dollop” is to be discharged. Consumers are warned that shaking and hitting a container of more than two litres might result in the release of more additive than expected. Containers with a weight greater than two kilogrammes should be avoided in public eating places as unwelcome distribution of the contents might occur.


Enacted under EU Directive 2011/10087/EC July 2011
 

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I alway's thought that the term squidge came from the Army when using the side lever grease gun which most of us bought Army Surplus after the War to use on track rod ends.
 

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Squidgy was the pet name that Princess Diana's lover, James Gilbey called her.
I thought in that context it had some sexual connotation.
Also, I remember that some types of soft cannabis resin were called squidge.
Pat
 

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I just asked my neighbour what a squidge was, and she said she thinks it has something to do with wet bowel gas. That threw me, i will have to have a dram.
 

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DIRECTIVE NO. 2011/10087/EC

FLAVOURING ADDITIVES TO PRE-PREPARED FOODS
ENGLISH TRANSLATION SUMMARY
(See practical advice for compliance clauses in red)

1. This Directive applies to pre-prepared foods intended for human consumption (but not for animals – See Directive 2009/1235/EC)
Not all farm animals are fond of Heinz Tomato Ketchup
2. The Directive does not consider the appropriateness of the additive to the quality of the pre-prepared food intended for human consumption. See exemptions on page No. 27,000.
It is recognised that some pre-prepared foods are inedible without additives, mostly those from fast food outlets.
3. Some additives and pre-prepared foods are discouraged in view of their potential contribution to global climate change (EU Consultation paper upon baked beans etc.)
Others, including some strong curry sauces eaten after consumption of alcohol may contribute to urban pollution.
3. The Directive does not consider whether the pre-prepared food for human consumption is actually suitable for that purpose. However, reference should be made to (EC) No 1774/2002 (Animal By-Products Directive).
Anything that is offered wrapped in anything other than the European Journal should be avoided. In addition, animal products should be avoided in favour of broccoli after the consumption of alcohol. However, some fruits such as strawberries are biodegradable and taste as nice coming up as they do going down.

Definitions

1. “Squidge”.
A term applied to the discharge of a plastic or other container of additives or enhancements to pre-prepared foods for human consumption where it is necessary to squeese (see definition of “Squeese” in page 20013 and EC/2002/1327/EC regulating the use of the term “Squeese”) the container in a vertical position with the discharge end pointed down.
Such containers should under no cir***stances be pointed upwards when squeezing as doing so could result in the discharge of the contents into the eyes. If that occurs medical advice should be sought immediately unless a ready supply of potato chips is available (see Directive EC/2001/1234)
2. “Dollop”
A term applied to the discharge of a plastic or other container containing an additive of thixotropic nature, where the container has to be inverted, shaken, and struck vigorously by the heel of the hand to discharge its contents.
Users are warned that striking a container that has not been shaken beforehand might lead to the contents being discharged at an uncontrolled rate. This might result in the food product becoming overwhelmed by the additive, although it is recognised that this might actually enhance some fast food products.
3. “Container”
An enclosed vessel that is biologically sealed upon purchase that may be made of plastic, glass, metal (but not Uranium or other potentially radioactive or carcinogenic material), goat skin, palm leaves or (in Scotland only) sheep's stomach or ox se*** provided that those have been prepared according to(EC) No 1774/2002 (Animal By-Products Directive). Such a “container” shall be made of a material of weight and capacity that permits its being lifted, squeezed, or shaken by persons of limited dexterity including the inability to recognise a container.
The degree of pressure necessary for a squeeze should be judged before purchase to ensure that the user is capable of applying the necessary pressure. However, this should not be attempted with sheep’s stomachs or ox se***s when they are still part of the living animal as a violent reaction might occur.

Regulations

1. A “Squidge” shall consist of a food additive of not more than two cubic centimetres of additive per squeeze by a person of European Standard dexterity (see Directive 2009/100577/EC).
A person of average dexterity is generally defined as one who (a) is able to close a forefinger and thumb together on either or both hands and (b) who recognises the need to do so, or (c) understands that upturning a vessel and striking it with the palm of the hand might result in the loss of the contents.
2. A “Dollop” shall consist of a food additive of not less that two cubic centimetres and not more that one litre having been shaken by a person of European Standard dexterity (see 1. Above).
It should be noted that this Regulation does not define the capacity of the container from which the “dollop” is to be discharged. Consumers are warned that shaking and hitting a container of more than two litres might result in the release of more additive than expected. Containers with a weight greater than two kilogrammes should be avoided in public eating places as unwelcome distribution of the contents might occur.


Enacted under EU Directive 2011/10087/EC July 2011
So what does that make a 'smidgeon'?(==D)(==D)(Applause)
 

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0.58 metric dollops of course!
I believe that there is also an EU Directive on this subject, although I haven't bothered to look it up. However, I seem to recall that it legislates in 756 pages that a "Smidgeon" is actually 0.576 dollops with a permitted tolerance of 0.001 dollops. I believe that the Directive also contains penalties if that tolerance is exceeded, including among those penalties one that requires that any product upon which the illegal "Smidgeon" has been applied shall be immersed in Heinz tomato ketchup for a period of not less than six months before testing by a national inspectorate in order to identify that which is not ketchup. McDonald's took a class action against that but it was rejected by the ECJ on the finding that such immersion would probably actually improve their products.

I think there is also a clause that states that the governments of member states will also be fined a maximum of €1,000,000 per week if more than two illegal "Smidgeons" are detected in that period by the EU Smidgeon Inspectorate. Oddly, the UK escapes this clause as the Directive only considers Euros, and the UK has this quaint habit of sticking to its own currency. Fines are only payable in Euros, and the UK government doesn't have any (or any Sterling for that matter).

Our colleagues in countries other than EU member states might wonder about this sort of legislation, but it is the price of peace in Europe. The idea is to so immerse Germany in regulations that no-one there will have time to invade France again, and the immediate benefits of this are obvious in that the UK has saved large sums of money by, for example, building aircraft carriers that don't have any aircraft and sending the Army off to remote parts of the world so that their UK bases can be closed.
(Whaaa)
 

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I believe that there is also an EU Directive on this subject, although I haven't bothered to look it up. However, I seem to recall that it legislates in 756 pages that a "Smidgeon" is actually 0.576 dollops with a permitted tolerance of 0.001 dollops. I believe that the Directive also contains penalties if that tolerance is exceeded, including among those penalties one that requires that any product upon which the illegal "Smidgeon" has been applied shall be immersed in Heinz tomato ketchup for a period of not less than six months before testing by a national inspectorate in order to identify that which is not ketchup. McDonald's took a class action against that but it was rejected by the ECJ on the finding that such immersion would probably actually improve their products.

I think there is also a clause that states that the governments of member states will also be fined a maximum of €1,000,000 per week if more than two illegal "Smidgeons" are detected in that period by the EU Smidgeon Inspectorate. Oddly, the UK escapes this clause as the Directive only considers Euros, and the UK has this quaint habit of sticking to its own currency. Fines are only payable in Euros, and the UK government doesn't have any (or any Sterling for that matter).

Our colleagues in countries other than EU member states might wonder about this sort of legislation, but it is the price of peace in Europe. The idea is to so immerse Germany in regulations that no-one there will have time to invade France again, and the immediate benefits of this are obvious in that the UK has saved large sums of money by, for example, building aircraft carriers that don't have any aircraft and sending the Army off to remote parts of the world so that their UK bases can be closed.
(Whaaa)
My 0.58 was in fact an approximation of a smidgeon, which quite correctly is 0.576 of a dollop. This is, in fact, when no inspectors are watching, almost a squirt.

The correct definitition of a squirt was detailed on the Rosetta Stone but lost after it was dropped the second time. None of these measurements mention the SPLATT which closely imitates the effect of thumping the bottom of a 1/2 empty tomato sauce bottle in a crowded restaurant with a loose top.
 

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My 0.58 was in fact an approximation of a smidgeon, which quite correctly is 0.576 of a dollop. This is, in fact, when no inspectors are watching, almost a squirt.

The correct definitition of a squirt was detailed on the Rosetta Stone but lost after it was dropped the second time. None of these measurements mention the SPLATT which closely imitates the effect of thumping the bottom of a 1/2 empty tomato sauce bottle in a crowded restaurant with a loose top.
Isn't a "Splatt" covered by the Geneva Convention as a weapon of mass destruction?
 

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Discussion Starter #18
After all this interesting info, how hard do you have to squeeze to have an ideal "Squidge" without splattering it all over your plate?
 

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After all this interesting info, how hard do you have to squeeze to have an ideal "Squidge" without splattering it all over your plate?
This seems to depend upon whether the bottle is one of those with a valve in the cap, intended to be stored upside down, and the ones with a simple screw cap. In the former, I find, it is impossible to obtain a "Squidge" as gradually increased pressure has no effect until the valve suddenly decides to open and inject a high-pressure "Dollop" on the plate any anything within ten feet. With the screw cap variety simply inverting and squeesing generally has no effect whatever until the bottle is shaken vigorously -- hence the saying "If you really shake the bottle, first none will come and then a lot'll."
(Thumb)
 

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I believe that there is also an EU Directive on this subject, although I haven't bothered to look it up. However, I seem to recall that it legislates in 756 pages that a "Smidgeon" is actually 0.576 dollops with a permitted tolerance of 0.001 dollops. I believe that the Directive also contains penalties if that tolerance is exceeded, including among those penalties one that requires that any product upon which the illegal "Smidgeon" has been applied shall be immersed in Heinz tomato ketchup for a period of not less than six months before testing by a national inspectorate in order to identify that which is not ketchup. McDonald's took a class action against that but it was rejected by the ECJ on the finding that such immersion would probably actually improve their products.

I think there is also a clause that states that the governments of member states will also be fined a maximum of €1,000,000 per week if more than two illegal "Smidgeons" are detected in that period by the EU Smidgeon Inspectorate. Oddly, the UK escapes this clause as the Directive only considers Euros, and the UK has this quaint habit of sticking to its own currency. Fines are only payable in Euros, and the UK government doesn't have any (or any Sterling for that matter).

Our colleagues in countries other than EU member states might wonder about this sort of legislation, but it is the price of peace in Europe. The idea is to so immerse Germany in regulations that no-one there will have time to invade France again, and the immediate benefits of this are obvious in that the UK has saved large sums of money by, for example, building aircraft carriers that don't have any aircraft and sending the Army off to remote parts of the world so that their UK bases can be closed.
(Whaaa)
That answered that one then.(Jester)

Your talents are obviously wasted on this site ART6 I propose you stand as an MEP at the next election on the grounds that it doesn't matter what you say or that it makes sense, as long as it's long winded, filled with inane facts, and bewildering. Yo'd walk in my friend.[=P]
 
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