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In a pub loo opposite Red Ensign Club...Aldgate East...You can shout and jump for joy, I was here before Kilroy! Underneath was written/scratched...sorry to spoil your little joke...I was here but my bl^^dy pencil broke! Arr Jim themse getting worser! Vix (EEK)
 

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"i would give my right arm to be ambidextrous"
"the painters work was all in vain, the s**thouse poet strikes again"
 

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In the dirt on back of a lorry when French were burning our meat. Years ago.
The French Won't buy our meat, so don't buy there letters.!!!
 

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Us s***house poets when we die
Will find erected in the sky
A monument to our eternal wit
A pillar made of solid sh**
 

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A few for your enjoyment.

Thank God I'm an Atheist
This cisten is fitted with Dolby -take the slush out of flush and the hiss out of piss.
Blow your mind- smoke gunpowder.
I used to be a werewolf but I'm all right nooooooooow
When straining please refrain from gnawing the woodwork.
Oh Lord above send down a dove with wings as sharp as razors to cut the throats of those who try to lower sailors wages.
Being employed by this firm is like making love to a hedgehog, one p***k working against thousands.
Until I discovered girls I thought love was a pain in the ar**
Old fishermen never die, they just smell that way.
Typhoons, nature's laxative.
Cunnilingus is a real tounge twister.
Calling all animal lovers we wish to inform you that your habits are illegal.
Sudden prayers make God jump.
Please don't throw your fag ends down the bog it makes them soggy and hard to light.
 

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After death of Pope the following appeared "Paisley for Pope this time"
 

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A few more for the collection:

"Is a castrated pig disgruntled?"

"An erection is like the theory of gravity - the more you think about it the harder it gets."

"What kind of fuel am I?" (in dust of very dirty petrol tanker)

"Today's pigs are tomorrow's bacon!" (scrawled on wall of police station)

"Kentucky Freud chicken - mother-f*****g good!" - (that's my favourite)

"Vote liberal and feel a man." (this is very old but topical today if you swap for Liberal Democrat!)

"Heteros - go homo!"

Brian
 

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Another selection for your delectation

I'll be buggered if I'll join the Liberal Democrats (this one is just for Benjidog)
Be alert the country needs lerts
Get the abbey habit, screw a monk
Come home to a real fire, buy a house in Belfast.
Cunnilingus is NOT an Irish airline
Half the women here have VD and half have TB, only screw the ones who cough.
Conserve energy, make love slowly
Dislexia lures, KO
Buggery is boring, Incest is relatively boring but Necrophilia is dead boring.
Northern Ireland, a problem for every solution.
You're never alone with schizophrenia
Is Muffin the Mule a sexual offence?
Roses are red Pansies any gay if it wasn't for ladies we'd all be that way.
Help the Police, beat yourself up.
If girls are made of sugar and spice how come they taste of fish?
 

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This happened in a Cotswold village, visited during the summer months by coachloads of day-trippers.

Coaches were stopping in the village so that the tourists could stretch their legs, walk around the village and see the sights. The village did not boast any public toilets but on the village green was a pub with toilets outside at the back. On alighting or before re-joining the bus many of the visitors were relieving themselves in these toilets but without patronising the pub itself.

Not unnaturally the landlady of the pub took objection to hundreds of these outsiders making free use of the pub's facilities without contributing to her revenues. She posted a notice in the toilets saying "These toilets are for use only by patrons of the pub".

After a few days the following appeared written below the notice:

"This request may seem a little mean-spirited but we assure you that it is essential for the recycling of the beer we serve."

Ron
 

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I just remembered one that I used to see on the way to school - it was on a wall along the side of one of the main railway lines into London - it read "Doris Archer is a prude" . (For non-English readers, Doris Archer was a farmer's wife in the UKs first radio soap - which is still going strong after 50 years!). I always wondered who put that there but it was very original and had a surreal quality

And here are a few more from Nigel Rees' book on graffiti:

Under a notice saying "TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM TREAT YOU" - I can't - I'm a masochist.

"Does the Netherlands royal family suffer from Dutch Realm disease?"

"VD is nothing to clap about"

"What's stiff and excites women? Elvis Presley"

Brian
Brian
 
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