[willincity]

Hello son.
Do you hear what I'm saying to you.
Just wait until your dad get's in.
Hide behind the couch it's the rent man.
Have you washed behind your ears.
If watch to much TV you'll get square eyes.
Go play footy with your mates me and your dad are going to be busy.
Stop kicking the ball against the wall you daft beggar.
You'll catch your death of cold lad.

 

[expats]

Put on clean underpants "in case you get 'knocked down' in the street"

 

[Dickyboy]

Pull your socks up.
Take your hands out of your pockets.
Dinners ready! (My favourite)

 

[Dartskipper]

Stop pulling faces like that. One day the wind will change and you will look like that for the rest of your life.

You'll be old yourself one day my lad. (She was right!)

 

[tom roberts]

Do you want a hiding (o yes please mam)

 

[Strickylad44]

Don't give the 'Dick Nurse' a hard time if she finds something. Be a good lad and allow the lotion to be applied.

 

[spongebob]

Old grandmother,
"Peel those potatoes thinly or I will make you eat a potato skin pie"
Never did have to but these days the skins stay on the potatoes most of the time.

Mum, when we arrived home from school to declare that we had the hunger shakes and desperate for a bread and cheese sandwich
"OK , but if you don't eat all your dinner later you will not be allowed any pudding"

Never missed a pud either .

Bob

 

[Farmer John]

I was very very young, but I do remember my Mum saying in desperation "Sh1t, sh1t everywhere". I thought it was quite clever.

 

[DickGraham]

"When are you going away again?" (usually on the first day of leave)

 

[norm.h]

17 year-old grandson arrived home the worse for wear from drink.
His mum: "I thought I warned you not to mix your drinks"
Grandson: "I didn't - I used separate glasses"

Same grandson, years earlier, having been caught out by his mum.
Grandson: "How did you know that?"
His mum: "I'm your mother - I know everything!"

Me: "Mum, I'm thirsty"
Mum: "There's plenty of water in the tap"

 

[Stephen J. Card]

"What is sweet in your mouth will burn your backside!"

Grandad: "Your eyes are bigger than your belly!"

 

[King Ratt]

Your coat’s on a shoogly peg, Scots version of cruisin’ for a bruisin’.

 

[norm.h]

My kids: "What's for dinner mum?"

Mum: "You'll have to wait and see"

 

[skilly57]

Dick, Post #9 - thanks for the memory and the laugh!

Came home off the ship for a month, about 29 years back - eldest twin (aged 5) got himself in the ****, so I gave him a good talking to!

His response - "When do you go back to the ship?"

Smart bugger now has 3 degrees, including Accountancy & Business MBA (he is now management accountant at a large nation-wide plumbing supplies importing & sales company). His American wife has 2 degrees, and is now doing a 3rd.
Their eldest son (4) asks questions with his father's logic. "Grandad, Why did you need to tell me off?".
Time for me to check out I think!

ps - forget to add. There were 3 Richards in his class at school - after much confusion, he told the teacher to just call him 'Dick".
My wife was a teacher at the same school!

 

[Norm]

Speak properly.
Don't lick your knife.
Stand up straight.
Don't slouch in your chair.
Have you washed your hands.
Time to go to bed.
Time to get up.
Have you done your homework.
Promise you'll never smoke.
Dance tae yer daddy my bonny laddy, dance tae yer daddy, tae yer daddy dance.

 

[kevjacko]

Can't get vexed at that, me Grandma used to say when things were good.

 

[Charles Mattress]

p

dinnae pee the bed,,,,well I was 16(LOL)

 

[Winmar]

If you keep doing that, you'll go blind!
I will take my hand across your face.
If you get killed on that road don't come crying to me boy!
That's tha last time I do your washing boyo! (Weekly)
And the ultimate...................Have you fallen down that toilet lad? You spend more time in there than the seat!

I wish she was still hear to say them!

 

[holland25]

Whats for tea mum?
Love on a butty!

 

[Dickyboy]

Whats for tea mum?
Love on a butty!

(Applause)(Applause)